For Number One
by NerdSavvy
Summary: You think you love someone, but what happens when another comes along and makes you feel equally strong? [RobRaeRedX]
1. And If It Were?

Disclaimer: (I'm only doing this once, so listen closely) Obviously, I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, I wouldn't have to write it here, you'd be watching it on TV. I do own Zavier. But that's it.

Title: For Number One

Chapter: 1: And if It Were? 

Key: _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

**_Mind Reading_**

Lyrics 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music

o0o (SBM: Don't You Forget About Me, by Simple Minds)

Raven Roth was a painstakingly beautiful girl, half of her allure being her magnificently mysterious and rebellious aura. Though I did not take part in as much of her life as a certain Boy Blunder, as she referred to him. She has helped me fill my gaps, and now I seek to finally fill hers. This would of course, be the final step, my final gift to her, and though she would kill me if she knew I was doing this, I have to make sure her story is clear before I am forced to say adieu. And to make a final note, she will soon know, I wasn't just looking out For Number One.

o0o

With much thanks to Slade, the Teen Titans, including their immensely infuriated and frustrated leader, had taken a temporary residence at the east Titan Tower.

Starfire, Beastboy, and Cyborg had loved the idea as soon as the words timidly left Robins lips. Cyborg especially on the thought that he could spend more time with Bumblebee, although he mourned the loss of his beloved technology, Robin made up for it, by mourning all his lost research and 'souvenirs' on all the villains he had ever faced, and our enchanting Raven was mourning the loss of all of her priceless books, ancient artifacts, and preciously dark oddities. She probably would not have cared much, books were, after all, simply books, but she had found, to her extreme dismay, the small, cindered remainders of one certain book, within its pages had once bound the man who continues to haunt her dreams, Malchior. Now if this isn't already obvious enough, first loves are first loves. They are unforgettable. Especially when their feelings aren't mutual, or at least that's what she thought. Oh, I'm sorry, you still think that's what she's mourning, don't you? My apologies. She was actually mourning the loss of a beloved photo of when the Titans were two, a picture of a battle first won by herself and her new, uptight, friend. Or at least that was her first impression of him. Inside the picture, if you took an extremely close look, you could see a slight, genuine smile tugging at the ends of the empaths lips. One of her first real smiles, and now that she had thought back on it, holding what was left in the sapphire frame, she heard the final whisper of Malchior as his spirit left this world, "You'll never see his real smile... Dear Raven. You're never the cause of a real smile."

Of course, none of the pain she felt inside ever reached her exterior. Normally she would never show her emotions, which would result in something short circuiting or blowing up. Normally, she would release her feelings inside a journal, where believe it or not, she would express herself through poetry. Yes, most of her poems were melancholy, and, in her opinion, not worth mentioning in detail, but there was one specific poem, on which the occasion caused her emotions to get the better of her, and there was no other alternative other than to write how Robin had came to her, and saved her when she was lost. And when they were all united, knowing her friends were behind her, she finally defeated Trigon. I am one of the very few who took witness to that poem existing, even though I didn't really take part in her life until much later... It was an amazing poem, and now she thought it was gone, and all she could do to prevent any danger, was to let the remains of her treasured picture dissolve in black flame... And she took that as a sign, a sign telling her to forget ever considering herself and her leader in any way other than friendship, otherwise more than her belongings would go up in flames...

oBack at the East Towero

Sharing a room already isn't any fun. This lack of fun can only be added by having to share it with a lovestruck girl and a clueless alien...

Beastboy was with Aqualad, Cyborg was with Mas and Menos, and Robin had bunked with Speedy. They were all fine with it. Why was it she was always the one who disagreed? After having heard the two other girls squeal at the third thing Raven found a waste of energy, she stood, closing the book she had recently purchased, and left the room, having all of her belongings levitate behind her.

oFlashbacko (Suggested music: Everything is Alright, by Mountain City Soundtrack)

Raven couldn't deal with sharing a room with those girls. Starfire acted as though she had lost nothing at all. And that there was not a care in the world... Didn't they know better? Slade was back... Again. And now he was stronger... It seemed he somehow retained the powers her father had given her... He had, after all, blown up their tower. How else was that possible?

She searched the tower, it unexpectedly being an almost exact replica of their own tower, and finally realized what would be the perfect room. A room that was dark, and probably rarely used because there wasn't anyone as obsessed with villains as Robin, which meant she could finally be alone. She walked in, and was swept with relief. It was empty... And dark except for the dull glow of the computers... "Sanctuary," the empath breathed, dropping her new clothes and books on the spare couch... She figured she could sleep on the couch, simply place the books on the shelf along with the others, and hide her clothes in the drawers in the computer desk. And so that is where she slept the night, letting the humming of the screens lull her to rest.

o0Author's Note0o

OK, my first fanfiction, chapter one, is finished! Claps and joy. Review please. Bye.


	2. If You're Looking

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans or anything else in this, or whatever else I'm supposed to announce that I do not own, I don't.

**Title:** For Number One

**Chapter: **2: If You're Looking

**Key:** _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

**_Mind Reading_**

Lyrics 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music

o0East Tower, five minutes later0o

At the sight of Raven leaving the room, Bumblebee was at first startled and worried, until Starfire explained that was just what Raven did, and that she needed her alone time, of course, not in those exact words. So for the rest of the day, she was left alone, no one went to look for her, and for that, she was thankful… Until the alarm went off. Immediately dropping her latest fantasy book, she filed into the main room with everyone else. She turned quizzically to everyone else and then to Robin… Now you could tell that this was a major villain, especially if you knew Robin as well as she did. And judging by his facial expression, he thought this was personal… It was his 'responsibility' face… It was Red X.

Robin immediately ran to his R Cycle, Speedy ran to his, Starfire and Bumblebee flew, and Beastboy turned to his animal form, flying after Starfire… So Raven was left to transport Aqualad, Mas, Menos, and Cyborg in her soul form.

Appearing at the crime scene, she was standing next to Robin, after looking around the dock and noticing no one was disturbed, and there was no sign of X, she turned and cocked her head quizzically at him, "The signal tracked him here… I'm not sure what he took, but I could take a wild guess," He told her, laying on almost as much sarcasm as Raven could in her most annoyed moments. He narrowed his eyes, probably from a noise only his paranoid ears could hear, and everyone followed, readying their kick-ass stances. Because the warehouse was completely empty aside from themselves, it couldn't have been a civilian, so it had to be… A roach.

Raising her eyebrows, she turned to Robin once more, this time he sagged his shoulders, looked at his communicator, and turned to face the group, "Alright, he could be anywhere in the area, so everyone split up. You find something suspicious, contact us on the communicator," Everyone looked at him with the same look asking who would go with who, "Alright… Bumblebee, you're with Beastboy and Aqualad. Cyborg, you go with Speedy. Starfire, you go with Mas and Menos… Raven, you're with me."

And with that, they went. Raven following behind Robin, wondering why he teamed them up together, "Raven," Robin called a few feet in front of her, awakening her from her thoughts, she caught up with him.

"Yeah?" She asked once she was at his side. He looked at her, eyeing her features with one eye while still watching where they were headed. She seemed troubled by something, but knowing her, she would never dare tell him directly. This was his strategy for trying to penetrate the many mental blocks in Raven's mind. He would seclude her from everyone else, and read her body language. Raven had her brows knitted together in confusion, but her eyes were wide and concentrated, as if it took all her strength not to wander back into her thoughts. So while they walked, they gazed at each other, Raven just so he wouldn't catch on to what was really troubling her, Robin to find out the cause. After a few moments longer, he dropped his gaze and ran his fingers through his gelled hair, "Okay, I know something's wrong. Want to talk?"

Raven looked up. She couldn't see his face clearly. It was dark. But she could tell by his posture that he wanted to know what was up… But she wasn't ready to tell him, and she didn't even have plans to ever open up at all. But she needed to respond somehow. She stopped walking. Turning to him completely in the dark, she put on a smile only he could see. A smile only a good friend could see, and only if he was looking for it. None the less, it was a smile. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she changed her tone to careless, which was closest to happy, and said, "Hey, I'm alright. Don't worry about me…" She stopped looking at him, even though she had his full attention, and looked to a corner close to her right, "Worry about him."

(SBM: "Everything is Alright" by Motion City Soundtrack)

And at that, they readied their fighting stance and faced the corner, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ruin the moment for you two?" He said in his usual arrogant tone, coming out of the shadows slowly, Robin charged at him, Bo Staff in hand. X dodges easily, and answers his own question, "I guess that's a yes."

Give me a reason 

To end this discussion.

Raven pushes Robin out of the way right before X could land one of his red X's on his back, "Watch out," She told him in his ear before surrounding a few wooden crates with her black energy and hurling them at the villain. He dodged them with his natural skill. He came up behind her, grabbing her arms in an instant and taunts, "Now, Dear Raven, you'll have to try harder than that to get me-"

I hate…

Talking to strangers…

At that moment, Robin unexpectedly cracked his staff across X's back, making him let out a cry of pain. Raven spun around in disgust to pin him to the floor while Robin tried to cuff him, "Clever girl, aren't you?" Red X said, muffled by the floor pressed to his face.

Are you feeling fine? Yes I feel just fine 

She was startled at first, then responded, "Just looking out For Number One."

He turned his head around to look at her, smiling at how much Robin was struggling to cuff him, "You quote me?"

She thought for a moment, "What's even worth the time to quote," He scoffed as she looked away, trying to help Robin place the cuffs on their bad guy, but Robin was spazzing out, shaking uncontrollably, she again furrowed her brows, "Robin?" She took her hands away from X, still pinned under Ravens legs, "X! What did you do?" Raven questioned, taking one hand to Robin's chest, and her other to push Red's head further into the floor.

"Hey, I'm surprised it took you so long," He responded, laughing. Then to her horror, he released himself from her grip, rolled over, and pinned her to the ground, but with her back to the ground, forcing her to look at him. Bending his head low, noses almost touching if not for his mask, he finally said, "Nice talking with you. Glad to know that's more important than the safety of your leader."

Stunned by what he had said, he took advantage of her immobilization to nick the tip of her gracefully curved chin before teleporting to God knows where. Only leaving with two word, tipping two fingers to his forehead in a small salute, "Later, love."

After he was gone for a good two minutes, Raven got up and ran to Robin, who was still shaking uncontrollably. She laid him in her lap to try to keep him from moving too much. He looked like he was having a seizure. Finally, she ran her hand down his spine, and found the red x on the small of his back. She removed it and he went limp, "Robin? Robin!" She called his name repeatedly.

_What did you do X? Oh God, please be alright._

"Robin? Robin, come one wake up…Tell me Everything is Alright, like always," She gripped his head, fingers curled in his hair, "This is my fault…"

Remembering that she was supposed to keep communicating with the others, she flipped a switch to signal them all to where she sat with Robin, "Please be alright," She managed to say over the lump in her throat. She bent over him to make sure he was still breathing. He inhaled her lavender scent, and his eyes flickered open just as the door burst open letting Mas and Menos into the room. Followed by Starfire, Bumblebee, Beastboy, Aqualad, Speedy, and finally Cyborg, all filing in in search of Red X, not seeing Raven and Robin in the corner until Robin staggered out, away from Raven's grasp, backing away from her outstretched arms.

"What the fuck was that?" Robin asked, looking at Raven with accusing eyes, "Having a civilized conversation with the enemy! What did you think you were doing!" He yelled at her, backing into the 'spotlight.'

"_Glad to know that's more important..."_

"No! I wasn't. I didn't know he did that to you, I'm sorry. It was nothing-"

"… _More important than the safety of your leader."_

"Liar," Robin spat, Clenching his jaw, his eyes twitched and he looked away from her. She looked taken aback, more by his expression and tone than the actual words.

"… I did nothing wrong," Raven raised her eyes to his, making him feel like she could see right through him, into his true concern. Then her voice became its usual hard self, "I don't have to explain myself to you, when you were witness to exactly what happened, and your blowing it completely out of proportion," She then switched her gaze, scanning her teammates. Then she left, changing to her soul form, flying off to a place only she would know.

o0 Following Raven0o

(SBM: "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5.)

(Please forgive me! It just fit my theme so well!)

I'm not going home.   
Raven descended not far from the docks supporting the warehouses, "What's with villains and warehouses anyway?" She asked herself, wandering subconsciously toward the library… "Sanctuary," she called the building. Ironically answering her previous question. Beauty Queen of only eighteen 

She had some problems with herself.

He was always there to help her

She always belonged to someone else.

Running her fingers along the shelves, she searched for a good book. Finally sitting down, deep in the cushioned sofa, she learned of how a girl stood up for her beliefs and took down the king of their homeland. After about thirty minutes, she was already halfway through, which was saying something, since the book was 1,875 pages long. After another minute, a tall young man, around her age, with a quirky look about him, grabbed another rather large book and sat down beside her on the sofa. Raven, being Raven, simply kept on reading, without acknowledging him at all until he turned to her, closing his book, and throwing his right arm over the back of the couch, he asked, "That's a good book, then, huh?" Raven looked up at him with her violet eyes, he staring back through his thick black glasses, with piercing hazel ones, a lopsided grin spread across his perfect lips. Which was strange enough to have Raven actually notice his perfectly structured features. Finally cocking her head back by the neck, she responded in her usual monotone voice, "Yes. And you," she pushed him back a bit, extending her pointer finger as he leaned in closer, "Are keeping me from it."

I don't mind spending everyday 

Outside your window in the pouring rain

I look for the girl with the broken smile

And ask her if she wants to stay a while

And she will be loved.

She turned back to her book. She knew that any other boy would give up by now, because she had her words and aura telling them you-better-back-off-or-I'll-pummel-you-into-oblivion-and-back. To her dismay, This guy was not like the others Raven had dealt with. He simply chuckled, running his slender fingers through his auburn hair, and sunk back into the couch beside her, facing front, still chuckling, so she couldn't help but peek over her book to see if there was something funny she didn't get. He was looking down, his laughing subsided, but he still grinned. Then he looked back up at her, elbows on his knees, sitting on the edge, "That book you're reading… Its really violent," This took her by surprise, to think a pretty boy like him could read…

_Well, that's not fair. We are in a library…_

"Yeah, so?" She responded, turning back to the book.

"So you must be mad at somebody to have picked that one particular book, and to be smiling throughout the time you were reading it," He responded, leaning back to peek at the page number she was on.

Look for the girl with the broken smile.

_I was smiling? When?_

She stayed silent, letting his breath fall on her neck as he looked over her shoulder at her choice of entertainment, "Hey, you're Raven, right?" Frowning a bit at why he would ask this, she responded with a simple 'yes' and was silent once more, "So… That book is about a girl standing up to her leader… So, you pissed at Robin then?" She shrugged her shoulders telling him he was right, and then, again, was silent. He frowned at her, she still wasn't really responding. But from what he heard about her, this was very polite of her to keep the conversation going this long… He had come to the library to read a book. He came to read an entertaining book of skill, wit, and bravery. Knowing every book they had in stock and memorizing every page, he knew he wanted that particular one Raven had in her possession, and it just so happened that she took the last one. So he decided to be entertained by seeing how far he could push the empath before she tried to kill him. But for some reason, she was extremely calm.

I know where you hide… 

…Just one of the things that makes you who you are.

"Um… What do you want?" Raven asked, turning to face the boy who insisted on bringing her into a conversation she had no interest in being a part of.

He looked at her, and smiled again, "Someone to talk to, that's all," He had again surprised her. Did he always know what to say, even though they had never met before? Who was he?

_He's smart. He's cute. He's… Familiar…_

She closed her book, turning up to look at him, she asked, "Have we met before?"

His smile grew wider, forming a small dimple on his right cheek and he responded, "Not a very good pick-up line, but its something," he then faced her, swinging his long legs onto the rest of the couch.

She blinked, cocked her jaw in an oh-I-get-what-you're-trying-to-do sort of way, a grin tugging at her right cheek.

_Cute. Very cute. _

"That's not what I meant."

He leaned in closer to her, lopsided grin pasted on his face, "I know… But it worked."

She shook her head.

_Cute._

She looked up at him again, "So does lover boy have a name?"

He cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner, "Are you flirting back?" He shook his head, slowly and smiling, making sure to keep eye contact, chuckling in a calming way as he did so.

_Very cute._

She simply laughed, shaking her head just as he did, "In your dreams," she scoffed with a playful smile on her face, putting her left arm over the couch end, turning her body toward him.

"I'm sorry," He chuckled, placing his hands on the couch on either side of her, picking himself up, he leaned forward, "I wasn't aware I was dreaming, then. Just hope I don't wake up anytime soon."

_Very… Very… _"Cute."

Holy Shit. Did I just say that out loud? 

He perked up. Looking her in the eyes, seeing the red knit into her cheeks, and he leaned in, their faces only an inch apart, her eyes closing, when, "Raven! Are you th-"

Tap on my window, knock on my door 

I want to make you feel beautiful…

Robin's face appeared on the little communicator screen, his eyes were wide. Raven's eyes shot open, crimson clashing on her slate gray cheeks, she slowly turned her head to face her left wrist as the young man dropped his own head, resting it on her collar bone, heaving a large sigh, "Oh," Robin's face became flushed and unreadable, "Right. So, uh," Robin paused to stare at the guy leaning his head on Raven's chest. Becoming angrier to realize he wasn't paying any attention to Robin glaring at him, and becoming furious to know that Raven was aware of where the guy's head rested, and wasn't doing anything to prevent it. He looked back at her, using a piercing stare, he bore into her eyes, "Don't get home too late," And with that, the screen clicked off, leaving it black.

Raven kept staring at her screen, unable to compute what had happened, and the guy simply kept his head rested on her, listening to her heartbeat, "Uh… I should get home now," she said, pulling him off of her by his hair, holding his head in her hands, waiting for him to get up.

He smirked again, "I guess that's what I get for trying to kiss the beautiful Miss Raven Roth; I get woken up," he extended his arm to the arm of the sofa to the back of her. Basically, loosely pinning her between him and the sofa, "But you have to follow what your leader wants, right?"

Yeah… 

"No," She was about to get defensive.

"But you're right. You should go. I don't want to be the cause of more trouble between you guys. You might lose a fight," He said, getting up in two swift motions. Raven was about to follow pursuit, pulling herself up until he traced her face with the back of his fingers, "You know. We'll have to continue this again."

_Yeah…_

"Yeah," she actually said to him, taking his hand from her cheek, he laced his fingers into hers, "You know… There's something about you… It's so… familiar."

Fuck. I did it again. 

"Yeah?..." He pulled away from her, shoving his hands into his pockets, he walked into another isle, looking at her through the tops of the books, "You too."

Raven wanted to see. Maybe if she read his thoughts, she would know where she remembered him from, **_…Damn. I just fought off the biggest urge to kiss her… If I did, she probably would have killed me…_** She smiled, breaking out of his brain right before he could think the rest of his sentence… _Or maybe Robin would._

_You know… Maybe I wouldn't mind a kiss from him… _

Raven slapped herself once he was out of her view. How could she think something so absurd? She doesn't even know the guy! None the less, there was a charm about him, even she could not resist. Hell. She could even admit that… Well… Admit it to herself… Raven stood from the couch, gathering another few books from her pile of collected choices, and was on her way. And for once, she felt like taking her time, and walking.

o0Author's Note0o

Most of the time I have Raven cursing, I view it as George Lass from Dead Like Me. I don't know why, but I guess it's because George curses there so damn much, and she makes it sound… Feminine? I don't know, anyway, I hope this chapter writing style was to your general liking (;


	3. What Comes First

Title: For Number One Chapter: 3: What Comes First 

Key: _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

**_Mind Reading_**

Lyrics/ Articles in a book 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music

o0At the Tower0o

_Damn it. Does she have any idea what she's doing? Why now? Fraternizing with the enemy, and now kissing strangers… She could get herself hurt doing things like this. The team should come first. Justice should come first. I should… I should… Come first?_

Robin blindly walked past a worried Starfire and into the hangar to go check on his R Cycle. Immediately grabbing his tools and hacking away at whatever it was Red X had stuck on his bike just to tick him off some more.

_She doesn't know what she's getting herself into. Where's the responsible Raven? And they were on a couch… Where was she? His place? I bet he lives in a dump. A crummy old apartment building… He doesn't deserve her… What? And you do? Come on, how long would she have to wait until you came and fessed up? She got tired of waiting. How long was it since her birthday? Three years? Yes. Three years of waiting. She's moved on… You're wrong. About what part? That you're in love with her, or that you don't deserve her? …_

o0Main Room0o

Raven walked in, five rather thick books stacked high in her hands, making her unable to see where she was going. Cyborg, of course, was the only one who knew what this meant. She was telling everybody to just leave her alone and not to ask any questions, but they didn't anyway. Cyborg only following her to her 'room' because he knew when she gave him a look, which look meant what. One look said she was just hurting, but she could deal with it. But the look she had given him at the warehouse, was one where she looked at him a split second longer than the others. A look only a big brother could notice. Only when he was looking for it. And instinctively, he was looking.

After helping her fit the books into the shelves, he turned to her, "What was that? When we got home, Robin had locked himself in Speedy's room. When he finally came out, I heard him mumble something about breasts and… No… Rae, you didn't…"

Cyborg's eyes widened in shock, Raven simply raised an eyebrow. When Cyborg was still looking horrified, Raven said, "Calm down. Don't jump to conclusions without giving me a chance. I think that happening once is enough for today," she mumbled, barely whispering the last sentence, "I wasn't with anybody. I wasn't doing anything with X. I was just at the library, and this guy showed up, he had read the book I was reading… And he just wanted to talk. So that's what we did."

Now it was Cyborg's turn to cock his eyebrow as Raven started to grind her teeth, eyes turning flat because she pulled her eyebrows down so low, she squinted at him threateningly, "Then what the hell was Robin talking about? Can you explain that?"

She rolled her eyes, "Nothing happened. Robin's just being Robin. He's paranoid like that."

_You mean caring like that._

Cyborg was still not satisfied, but unlike Robin, he knew when to give up, "Anyway, you should go talk to him. You know anytime we fight, our techniques are thrown off in battle," Cyborg paused, grabbing Ravens arm so that she would stop making her 'bed' to look at him, "We can't afford that."

She released her arm, tossing a couch pillow to one end of the sofa, then looked at him again, "I get it, okay," She looked at him, he stayed where he was, "Fine. I'll go now," she caved, tone seething with restraint and regret.

o0At the Hangar0o

(Suggested Song: "The Real Thing" by Gwen Stefani)

"Robin," Ravens voice trailed off, she let him hear her footsteps as she crept up behind him. Then she propped herself up on a table meant for Cyborg's tools, "Listen… About earlier…"

Robin dropped his tools, standing with his spine arched back, leaning away, hip thrust forward, "Uh… Listen Rae… I'm… I'm… Ugh," he ran his fingers through his jet-black hair, roughing it up and letting it fall naturally around his head, "Okay, here it is… I just want you to make sure you know what you're doing. I mean, he's a villain. Our enemy… And you're just-"

"Helpless?" Raven shouted, unable to stay calm for more than five seconds, "I don't know what Red X did that for, but it was nothing. He does that to every girl. I mean, why don't you get this pissed when they do it to Star. Because they all do that kind of thing to Starfire. Is it that you just don't think anyone would do that to me, especially X. I am a girl, after all, and I don't like that kind of thing any more than you would have," Raven had jumped off of the table, chest heaving up and down as she tried to catch her breathe, hands pointed and facing herself.

"I didn't mean… Not like that," What could he say? She was right. All the villains would flirt with Starfire, and he never said a thing. She thought it was just because he didn't notice. He noticed, but he knew it meant nothing, and he never got defensive or territorial when it happened. It never concerned him. Why with Rae? Why did he feel insecure when other guy's even looked at her funny?

"I may not look it, but I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself, and I can hold my own weight. If that's how low you view me… Like I can't even defend myself, then maybe I shouldn't be able to help you save the unlimited amount of people we save every day. It may have been the first time you've noticed it happen, but it happens all the time. I'm used to it. Its been going on for years," Raven said forearms overlapping across her chest.

Robin looked up, "Well then… So you're used to this then? So you just let it happen? Was that what was going on with that guy? You kiss random guys just because they flirt with you!"

Raven walked a few steps, prodding his chest with a strong index finger, "What? I'm not a slut. I didn't kiss him. I've never kissed anyone in my life! Why would I start now?" She pushed him, palms open, then she grabbed his cuff with both hands. She wanted to hit him. To hurt him like he was doing to her. Why was he doing this to her? How could he say those things? Her fists started to tremble, but she wouldn't let go. He took a step closer to her. Putting a hand on hers, "I'm not that girl. He was different…"

Her hands tensed as he slid his hands past her fingers to her wrists, "Rae… I didn't mean it like that… It came out wrong… I'm sor-"

She let go. But he didn't. Now her hands were in his. She looked up, eyes glossed over while she fought back tears. His hair fell into his eyes now, and for some reason, it made her feel bad. It made her feel like comforting him. Maybe she had just misunderstood, "Forget it. Its alright," she slipped out of his grip, his hands fell to his sides, in the same pose as he was when he first stood. After looking at him for a moment, his eyes still covered by his now gel-less hair, his lips slightly parted, as if letting out a long breath of old air.

_Don't go away._

You're the one I want

And it's not just a faze

And You're the one I trust

Our love is the real thing

… Don't go away…

She left.

_She doesn't fight for you because she doesn't care for you._

_So what? I-I'm only concerned for her part in this team… If she ends up having a-a relationship with this guy, then who knows what could happen… She could betray us-_

_Oh, shut up already. You're just afraid of losing her… But it is inevitable._

o0Following Starfire0o

_Why was it Robin was only upset with Raven? Why did he permit the obsession with her as he often did with the Slade? I care for him much. He is so complex. I cannot remember what it is called… But it is a much greater feeling than that which I share with the mustard… Maybe it will be better if I converse with him now?_

Starfire entered the hangar as Raven left. Star walked up to Robin, who stood in the middle of the room in a defeated stance, "Robin… Would you wish to talk?"

Robin simply ignored her. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he drew further back, "Uh… Star? I need to be alone right now… Please go."

She did as he asked. He would always be her leader first. But she only wished he wasn't always so calm with her. He never showed her his true form as he had many times with Raven. But he would never do that. Was that care? That he never lost patience with her? Or was it he didn't care for her the way she cared for him, so he never became frustrated enough to lose patience… If she never saw his true form, how is she so sure she will accept it?

She walked back to the main room, and sat to talk with Aqualad. At least if she could not comfort Robin, she could look into this beautiful beings endless gaze.

o0o

Raven went to sleep early that night. The others had stayed up late watching an extremely long movie. Longer and more tragic than the Titanic.

The whole time, Mas and Menos were quiet, Starfire cried on Aqualad's shoulder, Speedy was simply devouring all the popcorn, Bumblebee and Cyborg were discussing the flaws in the computer generated sharks, and Robin had lost interest in the thing five minutes after it started. So he sat on the couch, his mind drifting from Slade, to X, to Raven for an hour until he finally stood up and left to research without anyone even noticing.

He walked into the research room quietly, he wanted to find Slade quickly. He wanted to know why it was that the day after he burns down their tower, Red X comes to steal what was probably more zynotheum. It was too coincidental… Or maybe that's just what Slade wanted him to think, just for him to be distracted as he creates havoc right under his nose.

The computer was already on. He started to open old files, and hack into the government's secret files, when he heard stirring behind him. He whirled the chair around to find a sleeping Raven curled on the sofa, "Why is she sleeping in here?" Robin asked himself in hushed tones as not to wake her. He wanted to research more, as he knew he should… But the thought of Raven behind him, made him lose concentration. The fact that she was trying to sleep, made him guilty. The fact that he wanted to touch her, made him feel restrained. The fact that he longed for her, made him feel wrong. Now, unable to make a decision, he felt frustrated and trapped. He came to the strange conclusion that tucking her in would be best.

He reached over, pulled the covers over her shoulder, and raised his hand to brush the hair that covered her face. Moving two fingers over her forehead, he tucked the strands behind her ear. He wanted to kiss her… Just on the forehead or something. But he knew if she woke up, that it would be an extremely awkward moment where he would feel rejection, He didn't want that. So his mind told him 'no' as he bent his head low over hers. His mind told him 'no' as he raised her face slightly toward his. His mind screamed 'no' as her lips parted to let in breath, and he took that moment to brush his lips lightly against hers. His mind told him 'go' as he started to get up.

But a hand held him back… A silvery-gray hand grabbed his wrist in a way that didn't tense him, but softened him as he felt her lack of grip. He turned around to hear her mumble between breaths, "I… Like your… Hair…"

Robin moved his free hand through his hair. He hadn't gelled it after his shower, and it fell over his eyes, and tickled his ears and the nape of his neck. It looked softer and sexier than when he had it pulled back, that usually gave off an uptight vibe. He smiled. Looking at her, she kept her eyes closed, still not really awake. But she was a light sleeper. So there was no doubting she had remembered what had just happened between them. Let alone allowed it to happen at all.

Taking her hand, and placing it back at her side, he left the room, scratching the back of his head.

_She'll forget in the morning… Nothing has changed. It's too late. _

_Shut up._

But he still smiled, even though his doubts were most likely accurate. She still had allowed him to be there as he kissed her softly. She was awake and at that moment, there was still the hope that she wanted him to do it. That she wanted him to be with her. So it didn't matter whether she would forget or not. She had let it happen, and she can't take it back… Her first kiss.

o0o

Robin crept past the snoring Speedy and into the bed he had made on the floor. Pulling the covers under his arm, he lay on his shoulder, back against the wall, "At this rate, I'll never have time to research," Robin mumbled to himself before drifting off to sleep.

o0o

The next day was predictably calm. No villains were out, nothing was going wrong at all. Of course, this was only predictable to Robin, Cyborg, and Raven, who knew that Slade had bribed the villains not yet in prison for power, or worse-the titans heads on a platter-not to interfere with his plans.

Everyone sat in the kitchen. Raven had her herbal tea, Robin had his coffee and paper, Cyborg had waffles, Beastboy and Aqualad had some fake bacon, Starfire had what was once pancakes, now smothered in mustard, Mas, Menos, Speedy, and Bumblebee had bacon and fried eggs. After finishing their food, Beastboy suggested to go to the park, everyone agreed. Of course, by everyone, I mean everyone but Raven and Robin, who found reading so much more important at the moment. Raven simply reading the books she had borrowed, Robin reading files from the government on recent suspicious activity.

So they left. Starfire gave a last worried glance in Robin's direction before the door closed in her face. Robin turned to Raven who was reaching for her tea, ready to go back into the research room. Although Bumblebee's room was now empty, it was too bright and too… Loud. Then she noticed Robin following her…

_What the fuck does he want now?_

Turning around, ready to scream in his face, she then realized why he had followed her… They had the same destination… The research room. Falling back, she utters, "Well… You're going to the research room, then?"

He simply nodded, giving no physical inclination that he remembered what had occurred last night, and only the words she had screamed at him in the hangar. He remembered that he hurt her, and he knew she wouldn't forget his words.

She turns, swiftly, jabbing an index finger in his face, "Listen. All my books are in there, and I want some peace and darkness… So you'll have to wait your turn."

He backed away from her, moving her hand back to her side, "Justice waits for no one."

Raven looked at him, dumb-founded. Grinding her teeth, she said, after mocking him, "Well it will have to wait for me. Honestly," Raven turned to keep walking down the hall to the research room, waving a hand back at him, allowing him to follow, "Honestly, your obsession with Slade isn't healthy. I know you think it's your responsibility…"

Raven came to an abrupt halt, making Robin bump into her. Swiftly, she turned around to see him fighting back the crimson from creeping up his cheeks; she then realizes why he's blushing. They were so close. Had they ever been this close before? It felt awkward. But Raven, being Raven, remembered her position in the team, "I know you think it's your responsibility," she repeated, looking him in his eyes, or what would have been his eyes if not for his mask, "But we are a team."

His jaw clenched. They were so close. Had they ever been this close before? It felt awkward… He wondered if she would get flashes of what had happened last night.

_No… Act natural… That's not natural you idiot! OK, better…_

His face tensed, his only way of showing her he was serious, "I'm aware."

She shook her head, scoffing a bit, "You're aware, are you?" Robin suddenly found himself pulled by the cuff of his collar, and roughly shaken. If not for his physique, his head would probably have fallen off by now, "If you're so aware, then why is it that you never allow me to help you? Or anyone for that matter, not even Starfire! Why is that? If we're a team," she released his collar, steadying him by the shoulders. After a deep withdrawal of breath, she finished, "If we are a team, then prove it. Let me help."

Another awkward moment, as they were both silent, and finally calm, "Fine," a smug smile crossed his face, "Thanks for volunteering with research."

Ravens smile faded from her face, "You jerk… You tricked me," she went limp for a second, just to dramatize the matter, "Fine. I'll help. But in return…"

A lump formed in his throat as he anxiously waited for her reply.

_A date? Dinner, my treat? Maybe a little time alone, in a nice, comfortable---_

"… You have to read this," Raven pulled out a small yellow book from her cloak. Robin's mouth fell open, and his shoulders sagged.

"… A book?"

She smiled, "It's my favorite. It will help. Trust me," opening his palm, she placed it in his hand. Then proceeded into the research room to get this villain investigation over and done with as soon as possible.

Entering the room, she was calmed by the whirring of the computers, the dull glow from the monitors, and the quiet darkness that enveloped the rest of the room. After stuffing the book in one of his spare pockets, he proceeded in entering. Raven had chosen the fastest computer, unofficially, Robin's computer. Of course, she didn't know that, but now his nerves would probably act up even more.

o0At the Park0o

Starfire anxiously waited for the football to be passed to her by Mas. She had been paired with Mas, Menos, and Speedy, so seeing where Mas was at all would be complicated… But at least no one ever caught him. So far, the score was one hundred ninety-two, to sixty… Oops, make that one hundred ninety-three, thanks to Mas.

After a while, it became boring. Starfire was playing with a lock of her red hair, turning to see who had the ball, she saw Aqualad starting to sway. Walking over to him, she asked, "What is the matter, friend."

Aqualad looked at her with half-lidded eyes, and then he collapsed. Instinctively, she caught him, calling a time out, she lay him on a bench. Looking for something to wake him up, she found a bottle of water. She opened it, letting the contents seep over the dehydrated boy's face. He gasped, eyes squinted, "Water," he muttered, grabbing Starfire's arm.

"Yes… Um… I will get you the water!" Starfire yelled, panicked because she saw no more empty water bottles, she instead threw him in the lake…

Aqualad came out twenty minutes later, making Starfire stand from where she sat the entire time waiting for him, "Are you alright?"

He gave a weak smile, "I'm fine, Star. Thanks for worrying," he said, grabbing a towel to dry his face, "See, if I start to sweat a lot, I'm supposed to get clean water into my system every ten minutes. 'Guess I forgot," he shrugged, swinging the towel over his shoulders, "My fault."

"No. It is not. I should have realized you were not well sooner," Starfire protested, grabbing his wrists, shaking them relentlessly, she looked at him with full, sparkling eyes. At first, he was shocked, but then he softened, "Thanks, Star."

They proceeded to another bench, talking about his home in Atlantis, and hers on Tamaran.

o0An hour later0o

"Raven… What did you mean when you said," Robin looked intently at his screen, eyebrows furrowed, he did not want to show weakness. He was worried about her answer.

"_If you're so aware, then why is it that you never allow me to help you? Or anyone for that matter, not even Starfire!"_

"What?" Raven asked, turning away her monitor, she turned her attention to him.

"What did you mean when you said that Starfire should get special treatment?" He was now turned to her, too.

She cocked her head to the side, "Uh… When did I say that?"

"Before. When we were out in the hall… You said, 'why is it that you never allow me to help you? Or anyone for that matter, not even Starfire,'" he quoted, memorizing her every word.

She looked taken aback, "Oh… You remember what I said, then…?"

"… _Starfire should get special treatment."_

She looked stern, "Well, I didn't mean it like that. I meant… Uh…"

He raised an eyebrow, "You meant… What?"

"I meant… That," Raven recomposed, "I only meant that since you guys are pretty much dating, why don't you ever tell her what's bothering you?"

Robin looked hurt. How could she think that? He thought he had made it painstakingly obvious of his position in that issue, "That's what you think?" He lowered his head, making his un-gelled hair fall into his masked eyes, "you just view me with her… Did you even ask me how I felt about it? Everyone just assumes by what they see. They never ask. Things are just pushed on me. No one ever asks… Why don't they ask?" His face changed to a worried expression. Raven was stunned. She didn't think he was just talking about Starfire… But this was still a good moment to see inside Robin's head with his permission, and not by reading his thoughts, she grabbed his hands, gently, squeezing them with concern, "I don't like Starfire like that," Robin looked up at her, "I thought I did once… But since that night… I… I realized," Raven gave another slight squeeze. She would be here for him, whatever it was. He was her best friend… She would help him. He squeezed back. He would finally be there for her, whatever it was. She was his best friend… He would be there. He cleared his throat, "Ever since that day… When you almost left… I was so worried… And not just for the team… And I realized-"

…The alarm went off. She separated their hands. He was disappointed. He didn't know if he'd ever get the courage to try again… But justice came first. Justice always came first…

o0Author's Note0o

Sorry, I know this one was long, but I hope you liked it .

Oh, and sorry for the songs, I know, I know. Cho Baka (Foolish Girl)

Anyway. Thanks are in order!

KittyBlah:  Fake award-winning tears I'd like to thank sniff Kittyblah sniff for sticking by me, when my writing looked like it was written by a crackhead sniff Thank you Queen Wave Thank you all so much.

RaeRob4ever: Heh heh. Mutters Dumbass Robin… Thank you!

RaeRikkuStrong: Like to say, very interesting screen name, and I agree with you on the end, but I don't really know if it will be…

SpiderSquirrel: heh heh. You must be a total loser! cough, cough So did I… nudge, nudge 

ShadowDevil: Yes, he is a headstrong person. As for Rae/Redx, I don't know… Is possible.

YoukaiTenshi: Here you are. heh, your s/n reminds me of Sesshoumaru… drool.


	4. Ain't it Obvious?

Title: For Number One Chapter: 4: Ain't it obvious? 

Key: _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

**_Mind Reading_**

Lyrics/ Articles in a book 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music

o0o

Robin and Raven came back home thirty minutes after they had left. It was just a petty bank robbery. The police could have handled it if they wanted. Sadly, the Titans had to deal with it. If Robin had looked closer on the monitor, he would have known that the police were actually on their way, and would have dealt with it if not for the titans already arriving.

(SBM: "Just the Girl" by the Click 5)

"You're so paranoid, Robin," Raven said, shaking her head as they slouched on the couch, not a scratch on either of them.

She's cold, and she's cruel, but she knows what she's doing.

"Heh. Well, better to have tried and triumphed than not have tried at all," Robin smirked, taking a healthy sip of his coke.

She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion.

Raven cocked her head at him, "I'm sorry, I've never in my life heard that saying before."

She laughs at my dreams, but I dream about her laughter.

He cocked his head back, "And what are you insinuating?"

Strange as it seems, she's the one I am after.

She scoffed, taking his coke and drinking some herself, "That you just made that up to fit the situation, Confucius."

'Cuz she's bittersweet, she knocks me off of my feet. 

And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else.

He snatched back his coke in a playful manner, "I wasn't aware that you drank coke."

She's a mystery, she's too much for me, but I keep coming back for more…

She turns back to face the blank television, "Ah, changing the subject, I see. Anyway, we don't have tea here, Buddha."

She's just the girl I'm looking for.

He laughed, grabbing his stomach, "Is there a reason you're comparing me to fat philosophers from ancient Chinese history?"

She shrugs, giving a small laugh, faking it off as a breath of air, "Aside from their weight problem, they have many things worth quoting… Speaking of quoting," She turns her head to him again, "Wasn't there something important you had to say before we left?"

…The more she ignores me, the more I adore her.

She had shrugged it off like it just popped in to her head, but in reality, she was looking for a way to work it into the conversation.

What can I do? I'd do anything for her.

She laughed again, out of nowhere, confusing Robin. She was looking at herself, and shocked at how intrigued she was with whatever it was he hadn't been able to tell her, it was quite out of character.

… She's Bittersweet…

… I can't help myself…

… I don't want anyone else…

… She's a Mystery…

… She's just the girl I'm looking for…

"Right, that," Robin looked down, playing with the tab of his can, "Um…" What could he say now?

_Yeah, before that convenient interruption, I wanted to tell you that Starfire's not the one I like. No. You've made me realize, that I become jealous of the men, no, scum around you because you drive me crazy with insecurity? That I get all weird when you smile at me… When you comfort me… When we touch… What can I say, I'd do anything for you to stop doing this to me. Stop making me love you so much… Where had the confident Robin gone? Now just this eager coward, not worth Raven's pity. Shut up… Damn, I still have to say something… What the hell can I say? Come on, dumb-ass, say something!_

She's cold, and she's cruel, but she knows what she's doing. 

Knows just what to say so my whole day is ruined.

'Cuz she's bittersweet, she knocks me off of my feet.

And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else.

She's a mystery, she's too much for me.

But I keep coming back for more…

Robin stuttered, he was still having a quarrel within himself, and he was completely at a loss for words. It wasn't time to tell the truth. It was too awkward, "I-I like your ho-honesty," Robin stumbled over his words, taking a strangely long gulp of his coke, waiting for her reaction.

… She's just the girl I'm looking for. 

"My honesty?" She tilted her head to one side, facing him in a questioning manner.

"_Ever since that day… When you almost left… I was so worried… And not just for the team… And I realized-"_

_That didn't fit… Liar._

"Oh," Raven said, Robin eyeing her from what he could see over the can, "Hypocrite," she concluded.

"What?" Robin's mask expanded to show his shock. Of all reactions, he hadn't predicted that one, "Hypocrite?"

"Yeah," she leans close to him, her face four inches from his, "I'm on to you, Boy Blunder," she gives him a playful punch on the shoulder, "you're lying to me," She gets up, standing over him, "Well, I'm going to figure out whatever it is you're up to, so don't count on keeping it in for too long," and with that, she walked off to the research room, strutting in a confident manner, out of his view.

"Phew," Robin let out a breath of air he hadn't known he had held in until she was gone…

"_Don't plan on keeping it in for too long."_

"… Don't worry, I don't," he said to himself with a smile. He could only thank the God's she hadn't just decided to read his thoughts to find the answer, she liked to figure things out for herself… He liked that about her.

_You're finally going to fess up, good little coward. What? You said you loved her. _

o0Starfire0o

I don't know what is the matter with me. I think I'm am starting to feel equally for friend Aqualad… I know that I care for Robin, but there is something I feel with Aqualad, that I can feel with no one else. With him, I feel strange and out of place… I do not feel the comfort I feel around friend Aqualad… Does this make me a bad person? Am I deceiving them both? I am confused… Maybe if-

Aqualad is waving his hand in the front of my face, and I am halted from the thought process, "I am sorry, I do not know what is the matter with me," I tell him… He looks still happy, and I am glad he had not noticed what had troubled me, for I thought it seemed as obvious as the Evphorpeck tales.

o0Robin0o

I sit on the couch, watching TV, and sloshing around my coke. I know I should probably be talking to Raven… But there is still the chance that I'll get a 'no.' And if that happened, I don't know if I could face her again… I know that makes me chicken, and cowardly… But what would happen to our friendship? I'm her best friend, right? So if I screw things up, all she would have left would be Cyborg and… Oh, god, Beastboy? No… Maybe I should leave things the way they are…? I mean, what's there to worry about until I know her conclusion for sure? But listen to me. I make it sound like I'm in love with her… I don't love her… I… I can't… She wouldn't want that… _Then what the hell was the point of any of this, you moron?_

An hour later, they all come back, and Cyborg, Beastboy, and Speedy take over the television. Bumblebee is off with Starfire, and Aqualad is by himself. I go over to him and ask what's up, because he's got a really goofy look on his face.

"Hey, Robin… Can I ask you something?" Aqualad suddenly becomes stern, he looks me almost directly in my eyes, but for some unforeseeable reason, he holds back a little.

"Sure. What's up?" I ask, sitting down next to him at the counter.

He gripped his coke tighter, "Well… It's about Star."

I cock my head to the side, "… Yeah?" I ask, an eyebrow raised high.

Then he whips his head at me, catching him by surprise, "Are you… Uh… Involved with her?"

At this, I raise both eyebrows. _Me and Star? Me and Star! Why does everyone think it's me and Star! Is this my fault too? Is this why Raven might reject me? Wait! Stop thinking like that, there is nothing to reject_, "Involved? You mean like dating?"

Aqualad looks away from me, his can starting to crackle under his tightening grip, "Yeah… Like that."

I notice this, and I'm starting to take interest, "Why the sudden interest?"

I flash a one-sided smile, when he sees it, he gets really mad for some reason. Then I become more surprised when he grabs me by my collar, "You still haven't answered my question," he pushes through his clenched teeth.

"Hey, hey. Calm down," I raise my hands, a telltale smile still on my face, "No, alright? I have no interest in her like that. That's just something Cyborg started," I finish, jabbing a thumb in the 'big brothers' direction.

Aqualad brightens up, "Thanks, man… It's weird… I know she still feels something for you, and she makes me feel unsure and unstable… But it feels right at the same time, you know?"

I shrug, a smile still on my face, and as he walks off to the couch, and I feel an extreme weight lifted off of my shoulders. Finally, people would know that I wasn't with Star. Hopefully, now I'd get a chance to have a choice, and not have people just assume things.

o0Authors Note0o

I'm sorry because I know this chapter wasn't all that good, but I couldn't decide how to end it. Anyway, if you've read this, please review, because aside from this being my first fanfic, I want to thank whoever took the time out to read it. ()

Oh, and sorry for the choice for SBM! It just fit exactly how I thought he felt about her, so please just go with it!

Appreciation:

Kittyblah: Heh. Yes! I love jealousy, but I think Robin is more jealous. You know he has the perfect characteristics of an abusive boyfriend; aggressive, obsessive, strong, etc. but he isn't! He just loves Raven a lot, I think!

RaeRikkuStrong: Heh. Yeah, I though so too.

SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin: Heh heh, You make me laugh! My stories really need improvement. I mean, I have absolutely no control over them! But thank you, I am not worthy!

Rae/Red: Thanks. I like Rae/Redx fics too. But my favorite is Rae/Rob!

SpiderSquirrel: Yes. I want to work in a library over the summer this year, I love the library, I love reading! I would marry Barnes and Nobles, but it has proven impossible thus far…

Raerob4ever: Heh. I thought it was very much in character evil snicker


	5. Hints To His Secrets

Title: For Number One Chapter: 5: Hints to his Secrets 

Key: _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

**_Mind Reading_**

Lyrics/ Articles in a book 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music

o0Robin0o

That burden is lifted, and I feel the real Robin shine through. I finally get to be myself, and for some reason, Raven's the first one I want to tell. I get excited, picturing the tranquil Raven reading in her room. But just as suddenly as this feeling of accomplishment came, it passed. Leaving the behind anger, worry, doubt and frustration that usually controlled my actions.

She was gone. She had left the room, and I don't know where she went… I didn't see her leave… But she must have snuck away because she wasn't here, and there was nowhere to hide… Where did she go…?

My mind wandered to Red X… And then to that boy… I feel my hands turn to fists, and they tighten until I've stopped my blood from circulating there, and my fingers are pushed uncomfortably into my palms, and my knuckles are completely white… Why wasn't she here? Why did she have to leave now? Was she choosing them over…?

I slam my clenched fist against a wall, and look at the small pieces of plaster that crumple to the floor.

And just like that, we took one step forward, and two steps back.

o0Following Raven0o

(SBM: "Boys Don't Cry" by The Cure)

Raven had finished her library books, and was now interested in finding out whatever it was Robin was hiding without using her powers, because doing that wasn't any fun… Reading Robin's thoughts was always a last resort. She didn't know why, but it was a rule she had made for herself long ago, and this was the one rule she wouldn't break…

She wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she wanted something like a good mystery or an old detective story… Something that would make his hints easier to notice…

Running her fingers along the shelves in a very practiced manner, she searched for the ideal novel… None were really what she was looking for. She searched again and again… Nothing. The librarian was an old, pale, but kind-hearted woman, like the one in the movie Matilda. She made her way toward Raven, shuffling her feet in a prolonged manner, "Excuse me, dear. But I see you come in here almost every day for so many years, I have lost count…" the woman babbled on about something, while Raven stared in bewilderment. For, strange as it seems, they both thought they were mute, not having seen either ever speak a word in each others presence, so why today? Finally, the librarian got to her point, "May I help you?"

Raven gave a curt smile, "Actually… I was looking for books on how to pick up hints on a change in someone's personality and to find out a secret without reading their thoughts," Raven didn't notice how excited she had become. She was engrossed in Robin's secret, and thus was not used to babbling, so she chattered on, oblivious to how flabbergasted she was making the poor senior.

After another few minutes, the librarian smiled again, taking a surprised Raven's arm, "Oh, you. You are just like that kind young man. He's been coming here for so many years. You are the girl, aren't you? He speaks of you so often, I was certain! And my thoughts immediately stopped upon your secretive face! Any who, he's been such a dedicated reader, that I kept a section all for his own books… And as the years went by, his collection grew. And he being the generous young lad he is, told me that whoever wanted, could borrow his books anytime, and treat them like all my other books, even though they are his… And quite an exotic variety, dare I say, expensive… So here we are," The small woman said, lightly pushing Raven into the basement. Raven thought it at first glance, musty and aged, like any other 200 year-old basement would be. But when the frail librarians silver hair bobbed with her toward the light, turning it on, Raven knew it was her turn to be flabbergasted… The room was full of books even more varied than her own collection, that is, before Slade burned it down.

The tiny old lady stood-head tilted to one side, eyes up-curved slits because of her wide smile-at the entryway. She observed Raven's reaction with unrecognizable familiarity, "You reacted just how 'he' did, when he first saw this library," she nodded, a small tear dripping down her cheek, "Please, I hope you find what you're looking for," and with another small nod, she left Raven to her quest.

The room reminded her of what she imagined to be a king's royal get-away place. It had shining wood paneling, wooden armchairs with red velvet cushioning, and if she wasn't mistaken, gold engraved along the edge of the shelves… Amazing, "This guy must be rich."

She finally decided on a bronze, leather bound booklet. She opened it, sitting down in one of the armchairs, and began reading. Strangely enough, it was entitled, The Hints to His Secrets. She smirked at the title, and then read on.

My dear Miss Rouge,

You can tell that he lies, if he stutters too often. You can tell of the severity by how much his face softens. If you truly want to know his secret, the answer is simpler than the most logical could depict. If you truly desire the truth and he is not willing to tell, then send him off with faces sodden, and yell 'just go to hell!'

But there is of course the off chance that doesn't work. And he willingly won't let you know where inside his secrets lurk. You must find it in yourself to prove that you are confident in his every move. For if he thinks that you would doubt him, then he will hide his enigma until his worry fills him to the brim. We speak of a man who was torn in the past. We speak of a man who kept past in his past. If you know a man like this, you will surely have to wait. Find his complexity severe, and you must leave it all to fate. Yes it is true I speak in riddles, and yet frustrated, you read on. Because despite your eagerness, curiosity left undone leads to your desperation… Solve my riddles, and find the way. For then the truth must come forth and face you on that faithful day…

Raven felt weird reading this, and although there was much more, she felt they already knew her situation, like they already knew her…

As the story went on, she found that the riddles were written by the main male character in the book who sent letters to the maiden he wished to court. Reading on, she found his feat become increasingly difficult as she fell for another, a liar, and a charmer… In certain parts, she found diary entries by the woman.

17th January 1752,

It has become increasingly difficult for me to avoid his charming ways. Although he is a recent acquaintance, I have the strangest feeling that I have known him for all of my life. I have sat with him many times in my new sanctuary, and on one certain time, I had seen Sir Chandelier face at me angrily, and he will not befriend my new acquaintance although I speak quite fondly of him. He speaks in riddles and his letters have caused much of my stress… He is my dearest and oldest of friends, and although I enjoy my time with my new friend, I cannot shake the knowledge that the one person who cares for me quite deeply and has known me for so long, does not approve of our meetings… This has often left me confused, but I must decide, one or the other… I have to choose. Thus I have chosen-

Raven had been interrupted as she was so frequently, and had instinctively shouted, "What do you want, Beastboy!"

The young man from the other day stood at the doorway, a knowing expression on his face, "I see your making yourself at home," he said with his uneven smile.

"Oh, hey… I just thought… I felt like I was…"

"Home?" He finished for her, staggering over to view the room in a new perspective, hands deep in his pockets, "Yup, this place could do that to you."

She closed her book, placing it on a nearby side table, "uh, yeah," she trailed off to admire the room with him, "So you come here often?"

He cocked his head to the side, chuckling in the soothing way he did, "Again, not a very good pick-up line, but it'll do," he gave her a broad smile, only to have her scoff and look away shaking her head.

"Why is it every time I try to talk to you, you assume I enjoy your company?" She retorted in her usual defensive tone.

"Oh come on. I know you enjoy my company," He said, turning to face her as they stood opposite each other.

"Oh and what makes you think that?" She challenged, turning to face him as well.

_You're putting yourself in a trap, Raven. You better know what you're doing, because I know you know what's coming._

He chuckled again, taking a step closer in the dimly lit room, "Well, there was only one time to refer to," he leans his head down to hers, a dimple forming in his right cheek, "That one time, where you promised we could pick up where we left off…"

Her head moved as his did, in sort of a mesmerized fashion. Her mouth opened to speak again, as his lips grew closer to hers, "No," she finally responded.

His face became hurt as he found himself kissing her fingers instead of her lips. He drew away, standing his full height, repositioning his black rimmed glasses, "No?" He shrugged awkwardly, hands still in his pockets, "Did I do something wrong? Does my breath stink?" He asked laughing. He looked back at her, and saw her frowning. She was serious.

"I don't even know who you are. I can't do this to-"

"-Robin?" He finished for her in a tone that told her he had his suspicions. It was too obvious to ignore.

She swallowed hard, now it was her turn to look away, "I-it's not like that," she choked out. Why was she getting so emotional? She just met this guy yesterday… But it felt like so much longer. And for unknown reasons, it sent a sharp pain to her chest just to see him looking so defeated, "I think this is going too fast…" She looked at him, and a flash told him her age didn't match her worries and wisdom, "You act too experienced. Like this is no big deal, and you're just having fun… But I'm not that kind of girl, and if that's what you think this is, I can't do this to you. I'm not looking for any fun… But when we're around each other… I don't know. I'm going crazy," She said, more to herself than to him. She regretfully let go of him, and turned away to wait until he left. But he stayed.

He walked over to the side table, picking up the bronze book she had been absorbed in not too long ago, "The Hints to his Secrets, huh?" She turned back to look at him as he moved it in his hands in a manner that made it seem like he was weighing it, "Well… If this is about me, then I guess I should be honest with you. I still haven't answered any of your questions."

"I'll agree with that," she retorted, hands folded over her chest.

"Right, so, uh," He dropped the book carelessly back on the table, "My name, right? Right… Well, I'm Zavier," he extended his hand, and she shook it tightly, "Nice meeting you," he said with a smile.

"I only wish I could say the same," she responded in a playfully sarcastic tone.

"Haha," he responded just as sarcastically, "So we can start over? Friends?"

She nodded, "Friends is good," they smiled at each other, for a longer time than intended and ended up looking away awkwardly, "Zavier, huh? Next question?" he nodded, "Do you come here a lot?"

He nodded, but then stopped, "Actually, there's more to it than that."

She parted her lips and narrowed her eyes, making a face that told him that he better not talk his way out of telling her, "Go on."

"I am the young man Ms. Crandely talks of so fondly," he said with an embarrassed smile, moving his hands into his back pockets, "Yeah," he drawled out by the look on her face.

"These are really expensive things… And so varied," Raven said, looking around again.

"Yeah, well," he paused, shoving his hands into his pockets to buy time, "I like the unexplainable…"

"Unexplainable?" She quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah… Like the way I feel for you," He turned to her, speaking with an intensity she had not predicted him capable of.

Raven gave a faint smile, sitting down in a chair intrigued, "Really?"

"Yeah," he sat down in a chair in front of her, " I don't want to get things heated again, or anything but…"

For some reason, he trailed off, looking away from her, and his excited smile leaving his face cold and distant, "Zavier? Zavier?" She furrowed her brows, moving in to make sure he was alright, she waved her hand in his face. He grabbed her hand unexpectedly and a woman flashed before her eyes. A woman and what seemed to be her son holding her in an alley…

He let go, and she drew back, "Ma…" He mustered out, still looking dazed.

"Zavier," he winced, "Zavier," she called more sternly than she intended. This made him wince further, but he came back to the present. He looked at her, eyes full and frightened, like a small child. Like that small child, "What was that?"

He blinked, "I'm sorry. What?"

He seemed oblivious to what Raven had envisioned just moments ago, "That woman… In an alley," she looked him in the eyes, "There was a little boy with her."

Now he snapped. It was his turn to be the stern one, "How do you know about that?"

_So Robin was right? Zavier is a bad guy? He must have killed those people… No… Don't be foolish._

"Zavier… Tell me," Raven's eyes flashed a glowing black, and he caved.

"That was my mom," he laughed a bit. A rather forced laugh, "and the little boy was me…"

Raven's eyes became sorrowful, and she opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it.

"They died… They were both my fault… My father died, while I was being born… My mom was in labor in the dead of winter… And my father was rushing home from his 'high ranked' job… And got in a… A car accident… They found him unconscious in the snow… He was rushing to get to me. To watch my birth," Zavier sat in the chair, back curved downward, shoulders arched, elbow on his knees. Raven stood next to him, a comforting hand on his back. She saw wet spots fall to the floor in front of him, "My mother… She took care of me… I was too young to help her… She had to work two jobs, just to get us through the week… So strong… And killed so cowardly… I was coming home from… School one day, and when I walked into the alleyway, I saw her lying at the door. I ran to her… But it was too late… She died in my arms. Last thing she said to me, was to forgive her," he gave another extremely forced laugh, "For what? Staying strong through it all? Supporting me, being a great mom? For sticking up to a petty thief… Who only looked out For Number One… Who stole her life just because she wouldn't give up dad's wedding ring, the only thing we had left of him… The only thing of value to us?" Zavier's hands started to shake. But then he forced another feeble laugh, and shook his head. "Never mind. This is something I have to deal with… I just hate myself so much, it hurts sometimes, you know?"

Raven felt tears at the brim of falling, and instead of letting it happen, she hugged him… And by the way he opened up and held her tightly, it seemed like a long awaited and remarkably needed hug, "I know what its like… To feel a burden that big… I used to feel that way… But then I realized that it wasn't my fault," she laid the last words down thick. She felt tears sodden the nook between her neck and her shoulder, "It's not your fault, you know. You can't blame yourself for that."

He scoffed feebly, "Yeah, but what if you're forced to become the one thing you hate most?"

Raven stepped back, "What?"

He stood up, moving to the door, "I'm sorry… That was too intense for either of our taste," he laughed that forced laugh again, making her wonder if all of his laughs were forced… Some better hidden than others. She shook her head, but he just dropped his, letting it hang low.

"So I'll see you later, Zavier?" she asked, picking up the little bronze book.

He looked up again, that cocky smile pasted on his face, "Hey. Just call me Z, okay? It's easier for me to hear," he said, scratching the back of his head in an I-know-you-know-why kind of way.

"Later Z," she tipped her hand to her head, and he left. She watched him go up the stairs, trailing his feet in a lazy manner.

_It really wasn't your fault, Z… It wasn't your fault…_

And that was the first to The Hints to His Secrets.

But she still wondered. Wondered what he meant about becoming what he hated. Wondered how he had gotten all those books. Wondered why she felt so strongly for him… Above all of those, one burned hotter than the rest. She wondered if Robin would hate her for all this.

o0Authors Note0o

Yeah, I know this one was a lot shorter that the other… But I've got some major brainstorming to do, so yeah, I hope you enjoyed it… Even if it was a little too sappy for my taste… ()

Oh, and I was wondering. What's the name of that weird kid who came and tried to be like Robin, and turned their world into a drawing. The episode with Johnny Rancid. Don't worry, he's not in this fic! I just want to know because I've been thinking about this new idea for a fic, Rae/Rob of course, but it has a confusing twist to it! Anyway, ramblings. Thank you! Also, Finding Neverlad is awesome! I think I love Johnny Depp even more, I fell in love with his character. I made a fanfic for that, too. Sorry, I've been busy applying to High Schools. Forgive me!


	6. Too Much Pain

Title: For Number One Chapter: 6: So Much Pain 

Key: _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

**_Mind Reading_**

Lyrics/ Articles in a book 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music 

A/N: Damn. I had the perfect song to go with this, but I forgot which one it was… Oh well. SBM: This Time Imperfect – AFI.

o0Raven0o

I want to talk to Robin. I'm on a roof of an anonymous building, close enough to hear the Tower alarm, but far enough that nobody would notice me at a passing glance. I'm reading an excellent book, Forgotten Fire by Adam Bagdasarian. More than simply liking the book, I like reading of a situation worse than mine. I cannot pity myself for selfish desires… I can't concentrate for more than two seconds. I hate this feeling. It's worse than actually talking to him.

Maybe I should just talk to him, I have been gone for three days. It wouldn't seem like much if you were anybody but a Teen Titan… I haven't seen Z since we last spoke of his mother. I sigh and give a faint smile. So much hope, and so much pain… I guess that's what really linked me to them. They truly understood me, the creepy woman that I am…

I dangle my feet over the ledge of the skyscraper, and take out the small bronze book, The Hints to His Secrets. What an appropriate title. But to whom was it referring to? There was the obvious secret that Robin held. I saw it by the way he became frequently enraged with me, how he talked with me in those small secluded special moments. They are moments I savor… Then there were subtle touches alerting me to Zavier's small secrets. I can't grasp what it is that makes him so… sad. There are so many other words that could say 'sad' but it wasn't enough… He was just sad. A morose feeling not even I, the daughter of a demon, could comprehend.

"Yeah, but what if you're forced to become the one thing you hate most?"

What did he mean?

I opened the cherished book, and the words appeared miraculously at the point where I had last read.

I hurriedly ran after Sir Chandlier. He did not want to stop for fear of what I would say to him… Mister Davies was my newest acquaintance, and I did care for him deeply. But this had nothing to do with that at all. This was about my dearest friend. He was leaving. I knew I could not possibly live without him. He couldn't leave. He couldn't leave me…

At the point where I had finally gotten him to stop, and listen with a turned back, Mister Davies had chased after me on his ivory horse.

"My dear Miss," He had called to me, "Won't you please come back with me?" His gaze was not concentrated on me, but Sir Chandlier. His look was angry, as if he viewed my friend as a rival. I looked at Sir Chandlier pleadingly. He too had a gaze fixed to kill, daggers pointed at Mister Davies—

I shut the book. I just couldn't take it. Why did the heroine have to be so stupid? Was it not obvious how Sir Chandlier felt about her? Don't you just hate it when characters can't see what's right in front of them?

… Oh. It's strange. This book feels like it's telling my story… But that's crazy. Robin as Sir Chandlier… He loves Starfire, not me… It… I'm so stupid.

I lower my head for fear of others seeing me, and cover my eyes with my palm. I can't take much more of this. Although I left Boy Wonder in good spirits, he had contacted me on my communicator right after Z left and, again, we were fighting.

"_Why do you always have to be such an ass!" 'I screamed at him, filled with rage,' "I was only out—"_

"_With that man?" 'He was angry. I could see it in his eyes, even though they were covered by that damn mask… It seemed I had found a symbolic way through that. I envisioned his rueful, sapphire eyes staring at me through his emotions and aura… It was like I saw him not as the mysterious vigilante of our city, but as _Robin_,' " You're with him, aren't you? You're at his place right now!"_

'I was hurt. Definitely hurt. Why did he have to phrase it like that? It wasn't like I was sleeping around… I came there for him. I was happy. I didn't kiss Zavier… All for him.'

All for that damned idiot.

I let slip a small cry, more out of frustration than anything else. He'll never love me. All we are together are an affliction.

o0Robin0o

I had been looking for her for days now. Only three days could feel like three years to me, without Raven. I'm such an ass. She was right.

"_W-why… Do you have to say… Those things," 'Her voice cracked. I had actually made her voice crack… For a second I was stunned, and I swallowed my anger. But then,' "I hate you! Why do you always do this to me? I don't know if I love Zavier, but I know—"_

"_Zavier! Is that his name? So familiar already," 'I couldn't just shut up. I always had to make her cry. But I don't mean to. All I've ever wanted was her happiness. I thought things would get easier after her father's death… But that's when things between us became more open, more precious, more difficult,' "Raven… I'm-"_

"Why don't you just forget it? Alright? I give up. I honestly don't care anymore… Why don't you go choke on Star's pudding?" 'With that small remark, she turned off the communicator and left me with more fear than I had ever felt before. And it would have been funny if she wasn't serious… But it hurt, and it seered through my heart like a snapping blow and release of life. If only it were that easy.'

I was so stupid. I am so stupid. I can't ever get things right… Passing into the kitchen I see Cy and Beastboy battling in some robot game, explaining things to Mas and Menos in frantic segments. Speedy and Bumble Bee were in a separate corner, whispering about God knows what. Starfire, snuggled next to Aqualad in a comfortable position near the back. They were talking, and smiling at each other in a way that burned my stomach. I was happy for Star, but jealous of Aqualad. He had everything, it seemed. He knew just what to say, and always what he felt… And Raven had feelings for him… He could make her happy…

I want to punch Aqualad. But I don't dislike him… I'm just stupid.

All I'll ever bring her is pain… I don't mean to. I… I love her. Truly, but I guess the only way to prove that is to let her go. To keep up this mask of anger and… Let her… Be happy.

o0o

Raven finally turned home, when the alarm sounded once more. Robin and the others ran to the door, just as she turned to leave, "Raven?"

It was Beast Boy's voice, he ran up to her, and examined her annoyingly, "You've been gone for days! Cy said you were out with some gu-"

Cyborg interrupted, with a fist to the green face, "Glad your back, Rae. But we got trouble."

They all nod, and Raven locks eyes with Robin. The others had rushed out in a battle-focused mode. Raven waited expectantly, and Robin just stared, his face a blank slate, "Rob-"

"Rae?" She flinched the smallest of flinches. He had said her name, the name he called to her with care and love, "I'm sorry. About what I said, and how dumb I've been," He ran a hand through his loose hair, and let it fall again, "I've hurt you and-"

She quieted him, with a wave of her hand, and a smile, "It's alright. We all make mistakes, Boy Blunder. We say things we don't really mean, and we regret it. Sorry is enough, now let's kick some ass, okay?"

I wanted it to be okay. But her smile wasn't glowing with the true glow of her real smile, so vehement and warm, that I was the only one to see it. Once, just once, when things were easier between us. Now things were hard, but it was definitely worth it.

To win the heart of a Raven Roth.

o0Author's Note0o

Finally! I update, a small 5-paged chapter.


	7. War

A/N: I'm so very sorry to keep you waiting! There is no room for excuses. But a Happy New Year to all! (Yes, sooner updates is one resolution of mine) Please read my Author's Note at the end, it is a topic I am most… Concerned about. Title: For Number One Chapter: 7: War 

Key: _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

**_Mind Reading_**

Lyrics/ Articles in a book 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music

o0o

Yes, much had happened since the original Titan Tower was first burned down, and now was a time to remember it. For there stood in front of the Titans, Slade.

"Hello Titans," If any could see his face, they knew he was smiling menacingly and demoralizing, "It is a pleasure to see you are all well and… Alive."

"What do you want, Slade?" Robin shouted, in more of a leader's voice if ever heard by the Titans ears.

"Tch, tch. Patience is a virtue, little Robin."

It was only a matter of seconds until Robin would have cracked his Bo Staff across their rivals back, if not for arms splayed across his chest, and being forced back by frail fists, "Don't be stupid, Robin. He wants you to attack. There is a barrier, I can feel it."

He nodded simply, and instead withdrew a small cylindrical device from his belt. Looking around the deserted warehouse, she realized, as did everyone else, that this was the very place where all this started. All these quarrels and heartaches. The long shadows cast by the stacked crates seemed to hide every secret never spoken. That damned irritating darkness.

"What do you want Slade?" They all knew it wasn't to fight, he could send his robot's to do that. There was another unknown reason that left the hairs on their necks on end. It made Beast Boy shift under his weight, Speedy's palms to sweat, and Mas and Menos to latch onto each other for comfort.

After laughing that empty laugh of his, he responded to the Boy Wonder's question, "Haven't we done this before, ignorant children?"

And that was enough to cause Robin to release the electric device that cancelled out his barrier, and all were on top of him in mere seconds.

Suddenly, Slade was not alone as Jinx, Mammoth, Gizmo, Dr. Light, Killer Moth, Johnny Rancid, and Control Freak burst through the windows high in the rafters, and spraying them all with small shards of glass. Of course, this lead to the leading couples to shield one another.

In seconds, Aqualad stood in front of Starfire, Cyborg in front of Bumble Bee, and Speedy and Beast Boy went to shield their smaller comrades. Just as Slade planned, it seemed. He knew who was afraid for whom, and he knew as well how greatly the resident birds cared for one another, but also how greatly they feared either ones reactions and status on the team. They overcomplicated things so much, even the evil mastermind clad in orange and black, was forced to heave a sigh on their behalf as they stole desperate glances at one another to ensure their safety.

As Mas and Menos took on Control Freak, Speedy took on Johnny Rancid, Beast Boy and Cyborg were up against Killer Moth. Bumble Bee insisted on fighting both Dr. Light and Gizmo while Aqualad and Starfire faced against Jinx and Mammoth. Raven and Robin stubbornly clashed against Slade. Just as he wanted.

Slade smirked under his mask and struck Raven hard in the stomach, causing her to keel over and distract Robin, who as well took a blow to the head.

"Damn… Raven," He looked desperately at her once more before attacking Slade from causing her further damage.

"Yes, that's how you will feel in a matter of seconds, little Robin," Slade whispered while dodging an enraged staff.

Starfire blocked one of Jinx attacks and again shot a fury of bolts in her general direction, actually knocking out Control Freak on chance. Jinx simply laughed at the oaf and was run over by Mas and Menos. Two down. Five to go.

Starfire ran over to help Aqualad while the small twins sped to help Speedy catch Johnny Rancid. Cyborg took yet another chanced glance in Bumble Bee's direction before running to her aid. She was flat on the ground, and about to be blast away by Dr. Light when… She disappeared. And then Dr. Light was knocked away by a sonic boom.

"Please, Bumble Bee, be more careful," He cradled her in one arm as he aimed again for Killer Moth.

"Thanks, Cy," Even if it was the worst time to do it. Even though she saw Gizmo seconds from attack, she kissed him.

Just part of the plan.

Gizmo and Killer Moth had taken out Cborg and Bumble Bee.

o0o

Raven was up again, and flailing her arms to hurl crate after crate in Slade's direction when she was caught by a single flame and dropped to the ground, "RAVEN!"

The Boy Blunder wasted no time to rushing to her aide as the villain chuckled his hollow chuckle.

"Maybe she is too influenced by her new boyfriend to fight correctly."

With a simple wave of the hand, the feud was over and they all disappeared, leaving the tattered and defeated Titans where they lay.

And the seed was planted.

o0Author's Note0o

I know, it's really short! But whatever, man. I promise the next will be better and longer!

Now onto my concern. (Ahem. Political voice on)

It has been brought to my attention that many Rae/Rob shippers have left this site because of flames made by Rob/Star shippers. Although I am outraged to hear that Rob/Star supporters are flaming us based on the pairing I am even more mortified to hear you are giving up!

We can't just let them drive us away from this site. We are here for harmless reasons and to enjoy each other's talent. What's wrong with that?

Just because we don't support the mass media couples set up by TV doesn't give others the right to flame us.

I am here to say that I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I'll be here as long as this site is running, and I encourage you all to stay as well. It isn't right what those flamers are doing, and as people we have the right to do what we want! We aren't doing anything illegal or anything worth discriminating. Yes, I said discriminating. I don't know about you, but my country is supposed to stand for the freedom of **press**, petition, assembly, religion, and **speech** I will say it again, I'm not leaving. I don't care if you stand up to them, report them, or simply ignore them. Don't just leave.

You guys; readers or writers, are my inspiration and drive. So let's not just give up.

I'll stay even if I am the only Rae/Rob fan left, DAMMIT!

So whoever's with me, post a review or send me a message saying so! Let's start something here and now.

ROCK ON non-conformer's! Rock on.

---NerdSavvy


	8. Letters and Words

"How do you know you love me! We share a bond, Robin" she said his name coldly, and it hurt. It stung like a million wasps all latching onto his heart. It stings, "What you may think is love could just be the thought that we know each other. But tell me, would you know me without this curse!"

Title: For Number One

Chapter: 8: Letters and Words

Key: _Self-Thinking_

_Mind Tapping/ Doubts/ Conscience_

_Mind Reading_

Lyrics 

_"Quote/Remembering"_

SBM Suggested Background Music

o0o

'Boyfriend. Wha—' 

The leader of the titans heaved, hands flat on the ground as if he were about to crawl… He was going to crawl… Towards Raven, but…'_Boyfriend?_' Starfire and the twins made their way toward the defeated man, but he pound a fist hard into the cement, and colored the cool gray red under his fist.

"He got… Away," He seethed, looking up angrily as they retracted their helping hands and instead helped Speedy pick up Raven, and Aqualad and Beastboy help Cyborg and Bumble Bee. This was the angry Robin. Angry Robin was not to be messed with, and no one ever wagered to test that theory, "He was toying with us!"

Suddenly Robin stood, and in fluid motions picked Raven out of Speedy's arms and carried her out of the warehouse. Everyone was silent, staggering toward the T-car, they placed their critical friends in the back and Aqualad started the engine, chancing worried glances at Starfire's confused face.

'I do not love the friend Robin as I had thought… I love Aqualad, but… Why do I… Feel this anger towards friend Raven? I have no reason to feel this way. I should be enraged with Slade… Not my friend…'

It was a most confusing day for all to witness.

o0Robin0o

I placed her in my lap and revved up my R-cycle and practically flew through the streets. I made sure her lolling head was secure on my shoulder and that her perfect legs wouldn't go flying and cut off by a car. I was angry. I am angry, but I don't want to go home and cool off just yet. I know if we go home, she'll just lock herself in her room and refuse to talk to me. I know that if I cool off, I won't have the nerve to tell her. It's always how things end up, and I don't want it to go that way anymore. I'm sick of miscommunication and… Hurting her. Why does being a superhero make everything harder? No… That's not true. Whether she and I are heroes or regular teens, things would still be hard between us. Love is hard for everyone.

I take another chanced glance, reluctantly pulling my eyes away in time to turn a risky corner into a surprisingly stainless alleyway. I stop the bike and take her in my arms, my hands brushing against her face every so often helped my calm down and I turned and almost dropped her in surprise. A huge, gothic-style door is right in the middle of the building, I don't know how I missed it. It even had a huge sign written on a flag in old-English font.

"Misses Abby's Library?"

After struggling to get inside, I take a look around. It seems pretty deserted. I don't even see this 'Misses Abby' so I walk around the little shelves and tomes to find small couches way in the back, probably for lounging. It's homey and I hope that it will keep me from making any outbursts and screwing everything up… But I always do mess up. I only look out For Number One. I never, ever do it intentionally. It just slips out, the Angry Robin to match the Demon Raven. But I'm worse. I'm so much worse.

I lay her gently on the couch and put her head on my lap while she heals herself. She's scarred and some of her leotard had burned to reveal her gentle skin. I removed her cape, or what was left; not much, and watched her burns slowly dissolve.

I look around the many little shelves stacked on top of each other. There were probably only one thousand or so books. Looking around, I was finally reminded of a small yellow book. A special book I still never got the chance to really read. If it was so extraordinary to Raven, I should have finished it by now. But I'm an idiot, and I always got too angry to try remembering how much I… Longed for her company.

I take the small book from one of the pockets on my utility belt and open it. A rush of her intoxicating scent pours through my nostrils and I have finally fully calmed down by my encounter with Slade on hours ago.

'Raven Roth's Confidential Information'

'Those who have come as far as this shall be honored… And then killed'

I raised an eyebrow at what was written on the inner cover. Immediately, I was overcome with excitement, and I had foolishly thought this was some innocent banter about Beast Boy's pitiful jokes or something of the sort. But was I surprised as my elated mood changed to one of a more intense caliber.

'Mid-June.

I have been forced to make new records of your now dead counterpart. Thanks to a certain psychotic villain who is only out to ruin our lives, the Titan Tower was burned to the ground, along with all of my belongings. Yes, all of my books and treasures and poetry. It's all gone, Malchior. And it has forced me to visit a 'Misses Abby's Library' more frequently than usual…

June has proven not to be my month, Malchior. Red X causes more trouble between Robin and myself… I don't know what to do any more. I try so had to just not feel the way I do around him, but he makes me. It always hurts after… I trust him, but I'm too afraid of _telling_ him…

I was just inspired. I had a beautiful poem I wanted to write, but… I had another fight with Robin, and I forgot everything. I'm sorry, M. I will not be able to do anything but complain to you for quite some time. You are the only thing I can confide in… I… I love him. But I don't want to anymore. I want it all to stop. I want him to stop making my feel this way, I want to end it all. But that's selfish… I'm a stupid girl.

A few days after the Red X thing, I met a boy. His name is Zavier. He just came out of nowhere and started talking to me. He knew who I was and he knew pretty much everything that was going through my mind. It was so strange. He never makes me feel bad about myself, and he always lets me say exactly what I want to, and not just what I think I should. I… Like hi-"

I shut the damn book. I can't do this. I realized in those split seconds that this was the very spot where I caught Raven with Him. That Zavier she's been with so often lately. It's driving me even further to insanity. I want to know the rest. I really want to know, because I now know that she loves me. Even with everything else, that's enough, right? She loves me.

"--Like him. But today I went down to Abby's and he almost kissed me again. I almost let him, but I stopped. I wanted to, part of me really did just want to let go of Robin, after I had given you to him and still he hurt me, but I can't. Even if he refuses to acknowledge it, even though I now know… The truth about it all, and yet still his actions confuse me… Well, at least I don't have to hide it any longer… I did let myself cry that day, M. I cried a lot. One tear for every time I had stopped them in the past. I really want to let go of him, but I can't. It's killing me inside, and Zavier only helps making me even more confused. I know that all of this writing is only my thoughts being sent onto your pages by ways of a magical bond, but… Sometimes… I feel like I am human, like any other girl worth Robin's love. It's stupid, right? Yeah. It is.

Zavier has had such a hard life, I don't know how he can be so gentle and caring. He even has patience to play games with me. He's very intelligent, and (I was enraged by this, you know) he even convinced me I was flirting with him. I wouldn't know how if I wanted to. But that's him… When I learned about his mother dying by the hands of a thief, I was floured to kill every last one until I found his criminal for him. But the world is much too evil for anyone to handle… He blames himself for her death, you know. He says he hates himself for all he's done and can't forgive himself… I don't understand what he means yet, but I promise you, Malchior. I will stick by him, and help him heal. These are the wounds I cannot heal by magic, but with care. I think that if I help him, maybe I can stop… You know…

I hope Robin returns you to me soon."

o0Authors Note0o

Um, small little A/N in between. Just want to explain that she had given him the book in Chapter Three. She does it because of that kiss. She is hurt, because she thought that by giving this to him, he would finally stop getting so angry with her, and stop being so distant. Oh, and this whole thing is made up, but I chose that she call her magic diary 'Malchior" for sentimental reasons. Okay, on with the chapter!

o0Raven0o

I don't know what happened last, but all I know is that I saw Slade clashing against Robin and when I tried to help, I saw red, and then it went black. I have enough common sense to know he had probably thrown fire at me, and that I probably have third degree burns… But what I can feel isn't normal. It isn't the hard concrete I had slammed into. It wasn't the hard med. lab table either. It was soft and comfortable and… Familiar. My head was raised a bit and something warm kept stroking my hair, whispering to me. It was a soothing voice that somehow reminded me of my mother. But it was a boy… It was Robin. He was concerned for me. I could feel it in our bond.

I inhale the scent of the room, and a small leather book flashes through my mind. I know it is The Hints to His Secrets but I don't know why I'm thinking of that now. The last thing I can remember from the book was the girl about to tell whom she really loved. They were both good men and both genuinely in love with her. But I had o clue what was going on next. I had no clue why I was thinking about it now. I had no clue why I felt like I knew them… What was going on really?

I shake my head a bit, and slowly open my eyes to have Robin and my little diary thrown in my face. He' smiling a sad kind of smile.

"Robin…?"

I'm surprised by how weak my voice seems. It's cracked and light.

"Rae, you're all right," His smile grows a bit, and he hugs me as I try to get up… That was weird. I try to pull away, but then he speaks in a concerned and soothing tone, "I read it. I hadn't even opened it before now and I didn't know… I'm--"

"Misses Abby?" I look at her with surprise and I feel us slip away from each other slowly. I rack my brain to try to remember what he had said after he hugged me… but I drew a blank.

"Why, is this young man your cousin?" She smiles sweetly, and even Robin can't be angry with her.

"No, Misses Abby, this is Robin. He is the l- -captain of my team," I decide to keep it simple, let her just think we're a bunch of High school kids on a baseball team. I smile at Robin and plead for him to play along.

"Oh, all right. But I'm sorry Raven, Zavier is not here today. But he told me to give you this," She takes out an opaque envelope and beckons me to her. I look at Robin slowly and we both raise our eyebrows in question, but the senior simply chuckles humbly and walks down the stairs. I follow and pull the knob shut behind me.

"Misses Abby?" She takes a seat where Zavier had been sitting the other day.

"Zavier is like a son to me, Dearie. So when he came to me, for once showing something other than confidence, you can only guess how worried I was. I didn't know how taken he was by you," I felt waves of anger flow into the room from the doorway. It was open just a tad, and you can only guess who was listening. He's such a jerk sometimes. He's just mad because he thinks all I should care about is the team. I do care about the team; my friends are my life… But… Damn, I can't just shut the door. It's a thick door and God knows it would make a huge clacking noise if I went and use my telekinesis to close it. Turning the knob would show visible magic. I don't want her to think she's going senile, "Zavier… May well be in love with you… We have talked it over and we agree… You are the one, Raven."

I was stunned. The one? You mean like soul mates? No way… Well, I don't know. I timidly take the letter from her frail hands, and thank her. She just smiles her innocent childlike smile.

We leave soon after, and Robin seems to be caught up in something going on in his strange little mind. I must look the same, as I notice myself twirling the envelope absentmindedly in my fingers. We get on his bike silently and ride slowly through the city streets. We ride high on bridges and highways and shortcuts and get to see the beauty of Jump at nightlight. It's calming until:

"What's in the envelope, Raven?" I'm jolted back into reality and I clutch tighter around his waist for comfort, but that seems to make things more uncomfortable when I see his face go red. I must be squeezing him too hard or something, "Raven…?"

"I don't know," I think it came out with an aftertaste of attitude that I hadn't intended.

He tenses under my hold and I feel it coming, "You can at least be honest with me. I… I heard what she said."

'Well… At least he admits he was eavesdropping…' 

"Yes, but your question was what was in the envelope… And I have no clue what's in here," I lift the envelope and clutch both hands tighter, ensuring the safety of the letter and myself.

He took a quick glance, turned a sharp corner, and we were back in the T Tower. We both walked in silently, and we turn our separate ways and depart, as we had departed from the library; caught up in something beyond our understanding.

o0o

Bounce. Thump. Bounce. Thump. Bounce. Thump.

Robin sat on his bed, one arm wrapped around his knees as he leaned against the bedpost. The other hand held something old and dear. He looked at the small rubber ball in his hand. It was red, yellow, and green. A small gift from Raven at a carnival game she had won.

"It… Reminds me of you," She said menacingly, hinting at the traffic light uniform. 

It meant nothing, so why had he kept it so long?

Bounce. The ball hit the wall. _'Damn Zavier.'_ Thump. He caught it, rotating the thoughts in his hand.

Bounce. _'Damn Slade.'_ Thump.

Bounce. _'Damn.'_ Thump.

Again, he looked at the ball, and thought about Raven. Then he thought of tonight. He thought of them.

Bounce. _'I don't love her that much.' _Thump.

He 'knew' she loved Zavier, and admitting he loved her, would only mean trouble. He'd only suffer and she'd only feel sorry for him. So he did what he felt was reasoning with himself.

Bounce. _'I'm not in love with her.' _Thump.

Bounce. _'I hate her.'_ Thump.

He looked at the ball, and shut his eyes with frustration, blocking out what would be tears if he could cry.

Bounce. _'I'm in love with her.'_ Thump.

He let one small tear slip from his beautiful eyes, and admitted the one thing he 'knew' would only bring him harrowing agony.

SLAM. Thump, thump, thump…

A broken ball lay on the bed next to a broken boy.

o0o

Raven sat on her bed, legs sprawled, one bent, one straight, as she lay, head propped by pillows and thought of Zavier.

She levitated three spheres old people usually used when they were arthritic, but she had used them ever since she started training her powers. They spun in a small circle over her head and she twirled her fingers in an absentminded fashion.

Fwip. _'Do I…?'_

Fwip. _'No, I could never…'_

Fwip. _'Well…'_

She couldn't even finish her thoughts. _'How agitating.'_

Yes, it was agitating. Being in love with two people could take the wind out of you, and trying to defy your heart… Well, you can only imagine.

'_I…'_ She let the simple word hang there. Unfinished, and she simply watched the metal orbs spin over her head, each following one another like their own merry-go-round. The last time she had seen Zavier, she had told him things were going too fast even though she felt the opposite, she thought she felt more for Robin. She felt it was wrong to just give up on him, even if he did not love her. She had said, after all, that she was not that kind of girl. She didn't want to be the dumb teenage girl, letting naivete get the better of them, and falling in love before thinking about the consequences. No. She was definitely not that girl. She'd like to be a girl who fell in love and lived happily ever after, but this was no story tale. She was no princess. No damsel in distress.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

She knocked the back of her head against the wall in frustration.

Fwip. _'So maybe I do love him.'_

Fwip. _'But I cannot ever stop loving Robin…'_

Fwip. _'I love them both…'_

She wanted to cry. But an empath couldn't cry. She cannot feel. So how could she love so much? How could she hurt so much? She only feigns apathy to please her terrible way of coping.

Bang. _'But that's so wrong. It's so selfish… So stupid.'_

She was crying silent tears.

Bang. _'What if I ruin everything?'_

Her silent tears screamed for help…

Bang. _'Why can't this be easy?'_

She cried because she felt physical pain. She did not love anything. She did not love anyone. She did not feel like she was being ripped apart…

SLAM.

"I love you…"

o0o

Cyborg, Bumble Bee, Starfire, Aqualad, and Speedy sat in a small circle down in an unoccupied room, mumbling quietly to each other about the days events.

"Y'all heard him say that?" Cyborg whispered in his baritone voice.

"Slade said she was being brainwashed by her boyfriend… Or something like that. And that's right before Robin went nuts and stormed out with Rae," Beast Boy explained, for once wearing a frown, getting deeper and deeper by the second.

"But why would he say that?" Aqualad crossed his arms in thought, and Starfire turned to him in question.

"It's because Robin's got the hots for her," The voice came from the corner, where Speedy sat in the shadows, hiding the smirk on his face.

"Speedy's a moron! There's no way!" Beast Boy stood in a defiant stance and left the room.

Everyone shook their head, but Starfire turned to her friends, and asked the question no one wanted to answer.

"What does friend Speedy mean by 'the hots?'"

Oh God. Everyone 'knew' how she felt about Robin, and this was all too much to deal with right now…

"Well. You see… Star, uh," Bumble Bee clutched Cyborg's arm for comfort as they tried to explain in a calm way.

"He means that Robin…" Aqualad wanted to explain, but he feared that the progress in their relationship might dwindle back to innocent admiration, while she swooned and grieved over Robin.

"What I mean is… That Robin likes Raven… And not just the way you like mustard, Star," Speedy explained, finally getting death glares from everyone in the room.

But Speedy was no fool. He knew this was the truth the all needed to hear. He knew Starfire would make the right decision, the choice of the heart.

Starfire slowly looked at Aqualad, with a shocked expression. But then she looked into his endless gaze, and smiled.

But just as suddenly, she grew enraged, and looked at everyone in the circle, "Slade has been playing with all of our minds! He is hurting the thing most cherished on this planet, and I see how much it can hurt! We must stop this!" She slammed her fist on a table and it cracked in two.

Speedy chuckled, "Nicely put, Star… But this is really up to Raven and Robin. We just gotta push them in the right direction."

o0o

'_Raven,_

_I know this may seem puzzling to you, but I feel it is the best way to tell you… I lied again._

_That book, the one that develops as you go along, the one I'm sure you still haven't finished? Well… It's enchanted, Raven. In the mid 1700's a man named Zavier Davies fell in love. The woman he loved was beautiful and smart, and had the most peculiar and breath taking eyes he had ever seen. They were violet, and they seemed to say everything with a simple glance in his direction. Her name was Raven Rouge, a young daughter of a noblemen. They became fast friends, and later they started to feel more… but there was a problem. Raven was in love with another. An old friend by the name of Richard Chandelier. _

_Mr. Davies came from an enchanted or cursed family… But wealthy none the less. Although others looked down on him, and called him evil and a villain, Raven did not care. But when he fell in love with her, and found out someone else shared her heart, he grew jealous and did something he regrets to this day. It wasn't intentional. He couldn't live with himself if it was… But a curse came from this dilemma. They would be reincarnated over and over, and always be destined to fall for the same people again and again…_

_It's my fault we all suffer from this pain. I'm sorry. I can't ever stop loving you. We will always be destined to love the people we cannot ever live happily ever after with._

_I love you Raven. I have for three hundred years. I am the only one who remembers because it is my fault, but that's not all I have to tell you._

_Meet me tonight, at the place we first met face to face. I'll be waiting._

Zavier' 

o0Author's Note0o

Sorry if its doom and gloom. But my grandpa died Wednesday night. Jan. 18. 05. Exactly four months after my great grandfather died, so I'm a little upset.

But hey! If you liked the tone of this chapter, tell me that too!

O.o! Ten full pages!

Tell me what you think! One or two chapters left, so vote for who you think she should end up with! That's all for now. Review please if you want it to end to your liking. Thank you all for your awesome reviews, and to the faithful who always review. I love you guys! Oh1 And you know Ms. Crandely? Well I changed it to Misses Abby, in case that confused you. Sorry.


	9. Just

Disclaimer: If I owned it I wouldn't be here. But sigh I will say it, "I do not own the Teen Titans" just to be safe from being liable for fraud and the like.

Title: For Number One

Chapter: 9: Just

A/N: Wow! I can't believe it! Nine chapters! XD Once I hit ten, I'm gonna celebrate, who will celebrate with me? I must say, I was a little bit disappointed because I didn't get reviews from some of the people I had expected, but I still got seven wonderful reviews and I was still inspired to write this.

IMPORTANT A/N! MAKE SURE TO READ IT!

Dedicated to: SpiderSquirrel you rock! No more words are needed… Except one. Barnes&Noble! Lolopixie you are a great writer and reviewer. Thanks for the sweet comments. RaeRikkuStrong has been there since I started! Thank you so much.

o0o

The dark shadow waited three in the am to finally sneak out, gliding slowly over darkened objects while she cursed the Boy Wonder for only going to bed at such an ungodly hour. Three am was, after all, witching hour. Being a half demon, alone, roaming the streets on witching hour might just be the dumbest idea she ever had. Scratch that, it was definitely the dumbest idea ever.

Don't misinterpret, our Raven is a sensible person, and her first thought after finishing Zavier's letter a fourth time, could only be one of the following:

'_He has gone off the deep end.'_

'_He's messing with my head again.'_

'_Holy shit… This is insane…'_

Now C could quite possibly be her first thought, because as ridiculous as it may be to have such a fate reside in her path, she trusted the familiarly confident Zavier, with his box shaped glasses and carelessly ruffled hair. Besides, she also came to realize that being a half demon was next to unbelievable on this planet. So yes, it could be very possible that she and the two she held dear were in fact part of some great design cursed upon their souls three hundred years ago… But the fact that his soul went through three hundred years… Waiting for her… Searching for her?

Raven shook her head in confusion and finally realized how wrapped up in thought she was, for she only just realized after walking three city blocks… That she could teleport.

'Get it together, Raven…' 

She felt herself go cold and restless as her body took on the form of her soul. Another rush ran through her as she dissolved into a plane of nothing and was abruptly thrown into another location… All this in a mere matter of two seconds, and she stood in front of Misses Abby's library, the well-known abandoned warehouses on her left of the horizon. She walked into the alley and shoved the door open with accustomed effort.

She strolled into complete darkness and again her common sense dawned on her. It was 3:00 am. Misses Abby probably had gone home to bed and Zavier, well, how long could his damned soul wait for her?

"But he said he would be waiting…"

She mumbled to herself, taking a few more steps into the darkness before walking into a hard chest. Hard, yet comforting. Comforting and so, so familiar.

"And I am," He breathed in a low voice, steadying her by the shoulders before lightly taking her hand and walking easily through the cluttered library. He felt her pull closer to him as they walked in the dark, the sensational warmth triggering memories he had forgotten. His breath quickened slightly, and upon taking notice, she clasped her hand tighter in his, and silently questioned whether or not he was well. For even though she had chosen to believe him, there was the slight chance that he was ill… Or going insane, even if she hoped with all her heart that it was not so.

'_He is not insane. He is not insane… I trust him.' 'After only knowing him for a little over a week?'_

o0o

Robin had trouble sleeping that night, of course he did. Upon interruption from finally telling her how he felt, he had lost all confidence and was only pulled further in the ground by over hearing the conversation with the tiny old woman at the library.

They had rode home in utter silence, and he only mentally choked over and over trying to work up the courage to try again. Imagine that, a hero like Robin, confident, cocky Robin, losing confidence in something he was so absolutely sure he felt… It was pathetic… So not like Robin… But love did that to people. It still does that to people.

But he had felt her, too. The bond worked both ways, obviously. He knew only that she misunderstood his anger and was angry with him. Confession and anger aren't exactly a great mix. Especially with how large a step he wished to take. Friends to lovers. How out of place for tight-and-narrow Boy Wonder to adjust to. But that was what love did to people.

'I'm supposed to feel out of place… I'm supposed to be unsure and never more sure ever in my life… I love the feeling and I loathe it all at the same time…'

These odd thoughts ran through his head over and over as he paced the living room floor, too distracted to notice Raven silently waiting in a corner for him to go to sleep.

A strange thing, love is.

o0Zavier0o

A strange thing, love is. As I see the black soul of a raven appear in the window, my mind tells me to go to the door but my body shifts in strange places and the next thing I know, I'm hiding behind one of the stacks in the 'Teen Series" section. I see her face.

I see her worry. Already, I feel myself filled with guilt, but my body is paralyzed by her seductive silhouette. Her violet eyes caught the pale glow of the moon and there was Raven. Raven without sarcasm and without stubborn façade's to cover her angelic face. I saw Raven, concerned, loving, and… Afraid.

And then she spoke, so fragile and timorous, "But he said he would be waiting…"

Would you have been able to stay away any longer? I pushed myself up and found her in the darkness of the pallid moonlight, my heart skipping a single beat as she collided with me. Her chest against my diaphragm and her head to my shoulder, I reached out to her after telling her so many things, with three more simple words, "And I am."

'I always have been…' 

I took her hand and we started toward the basement, my breath quickening with the fear of tonight's events. A greater fear of her reaction jumped out at me as clear as the glow on her skin at that moment. Her abrupt nearness triggered memories I had buried into the depths of my mental capacity and I felt like my head was split in half, but she held my hand tighter. I felt her consideration more than I saw it.

I regained composure and led her down the stairs to the basement, striding across the room with familiarity and swiftly switching on the lights.

Her face was more beautiful than ever before, I must admit. I don't remember ever seeing it like this… And yet somehow I remember several other incidents in several places I do not recognize… Where it was in fact familiar.

Her eyes intensified by the weight of her every thought for me… And for him. The light in her eyes touched her skin and her complexion seemed to glow. Everything was strengthened; her delicate nose, her sensuous lips, even the hue of her hair seemed to adapt to her emotions. It was Raven. No sarcasm. No mask. Just Raven.

She looked at me with undivided concern and worry. Her eyes bore into me until I had no choice but to look away.

"I know this whole thing—this concept of a curse and destiny… It's… Retarded. But it doesn't make it any less true. I didn't really see it in the beginning. I saw a flicker of it the first time I saw you, but I didn't know what it was at the time, so…" I looked up at her with a despicably pleading glance and she willed me to continue my pathetic ramblings, "Raven… It's like my memory is erased every time I'm reborn as well, but because it's my fault… I remember it easier than you or Robin-"

"I remembered, too."

I was surprised. Of course I was surprised. Was that possible? I didn't think so… Unless…

"Do you love me?"

That must have been a strange thing to ask. I know, but it's the old Zavier who seems to be taking over, the lusting, loving, self-effacing Zavier Davies of the 16th century. He won't let her go. He'll never let her go and his love for his Raven is so unbelievably unbearable that he took over my letter to Raven. So unbelievably unbearable that I feel my heart being torn apart all over again as I wait for her to answer… Until I realize she shouldn't. She shouldn't have to say it. I shouldn't have to ask…

o0Flashback0o

"Robin!" The young master Davies watched sadly behind a tree as he saw his Raven chase after another man. Robin. It was the affectionate nickname she had given to him as kin. When they had watched the wildlife of the meadows around them, she had told him she had thought at the young age of nine, that he was free as a bird, as a robin… How poetic.

"Robin," She called his name once more, in that frail and afraid tone that no one but the Robin she spoke of so fondly ever heard. The youth could not help but stop in his tracks and wait for her to catch up, the trains of her elegant dress in toe with her silky violet tinted tresses. She stopped abruptly in front of him, eyes full and terrified, hair sticking seductively to her cheeks as she heaved and waited for him to turn and look at her not as Sir Chandelier, but as Robin, her Robin.

Slowly, reluctantly and happily, he turned his eyes to meet hers and their eyes met in a tangled web of confusion and torn hearts. Immediately upon said engagement she smiled her rare and glowing smile and warmed his reserved exterior to pierce through the one question none of the three could ever turn their backs on.

"Do you love me?"

You could see the young man's chest heave anxiously and his light eyes swirled with the weight of the wait between them. Then she gave that simple arrogant smile she gave on the occasion of realizing something you did not. It may have annoyed the hell out of you, but if you were a simple and complex oddity like the two men she loved, you couldn't help but savor every emotion she intended to give.

"You needn't ask."

And that was it. It was over, Robin had finally won, leaving Zavier to wallow in his misery and infinite loneliness. Young Mister Davies had looked upon the two as their heads seemed to mold together, and they kissed in the glowing moonlight that pierced the treetops.

He ran. Ran fast, ran hard, he ran. Young Davies ran until his legs gave way and he didn't know where he was any longer, just the fact that he was away. He looked up at the fragile moon and he scoffed. Even the moon reminded him of his love, so radiant and alluring. He shook his head from these thoughts and covered his face in his palms. No one could see him cry now.

Without his knowing, someone did. A slender girl took pity on his cursed ways and cast a spell she knew he wanted. She ran out and pranced elegantly around him as he cried silently to himself.

"You want this, do you not?"

Zavier looked up, but all he could see was a blue and yellow blur, a lingering and haunting voice trailed around him.

"I do not know of what you speak of…"

"Her."

His eyes widened with knowledge and he heard the small nymph laugh.

"… Yes."

"Then I shall grant you heart's desire."

Surely she jest, but what was a heartbroken man to do?

The small woman stood before him, and raised her hands ceremoniously to the moon, "For the symbol of this man's desire, I plea, Goddess of the Moon, to take your pity upon him. Let these lovers love prove everlasting as long as you are alive!"

And she made one mistake. The lovers she spoke of were not just Raven and Zavier, no. The two lovers were three. Love is not such a fickle thing. Yet it is painful.

o0Author's Note0o

Sorry it took so long, but I have good news--- I got into LaGuardia high School!

Now, on with my IMPORTAT A/N!

Okay, so I've decided this as a rule for all of my stories. I've decided this because I want more reviews, of course! I like it when you guys criticize me, I'm not saying I like to be broken down by harsh comments, but I like your help and feedback, so here is what I'm suggesting. Everyone who reviews get a 1-page preview of the next chapter! The first reviewer gets to read the next chapter of my story a week before I post it!

Okay, so Review and…

LATER DAYS!


	10. Kill Us

Disclaimer: Just because I have to: I Do Not Own the Teen Titans.

Title: For Number One

Chapter: 10: Kill Us

A/N: Chapter 10! Let's celebrate! Wow… I'd like to thank The Academy…! Nah, just kidding.

1st Reviewer Award goes to: raerob4ever! Thanks for your review!

REVIEW for a PREVIEW!

o0o

"Star!" Aqualad held her back by the arm as she struggled to loosen his grip.

"Star, you gotta chill out. You're not gonna find Slade like this," BumbleBee pulled her other arm, but proved useless as the Tamaranian simply flew above them through the dark corridor.

Mas y Menos, Speedy, Cyborg and Beast Boy frantically helped try calm the alien princess until finally, Cyborg caught her with both arms and whispered as low as his booming voice could, "Don't wake Robin…"

Immediately, Starfire bit her lower lip and lowered her head in shame, "I am acting like a blarfgnarr…"

"Uh… Right," Beast Boy helped lower her to the ground and they all sat on the floor in discussion.

"Raven's gone," Speedy finally said, getting eye-rolls all around.

All heads turned to Cyborg as he shook his head and scoffed, "I heard Robin talkin' to himself about it. I think she's got a boyfriend."

"That…" Starfire raised her head a bit, pulling Aqualad's hand away, "That… Is not… Acceptable…"

"Star-"

"No! How can friend Raven just-"

"How can Raven just, what?" Robin walked in from around the corner, narrowing his masked eyes.

Everyone fell silent.

"Hey! Nice hair, Boy Blunder," It would have been a good evasive maneuver if not for his use of Raven's nickname.

His eyes narrowed further as he gazed at Speedy in a pre-interrogating manner. Just as Cyborg was about to open his mouth, a startling static filled the room.

"C-Cyborg…? Hey. It's me…" She looked somewhat upset as her lilac hair whipped around violently in the wind. She was outside. He knew exactly where she was. Why would she be there at such an ungodly (literally) hour? "I… I need you to… To come get me…"

Robin was furious, staring down into Cyborg's communicator before shutting it completely and roaring off into the remorse of the night.

o0Minutes Before0o

They stood in their usual place of privacy, in his basement, his secret room. Raven stood in shock by how easily he dismissed his own question.

_-_

"_Do you love me?" Her heart raced with anxiety, but she could not turn away._

"_I-"_

"_No. Don't answer that… I'm sorry." He looked up at her with more sorrow than a lifetime could give, "… I shouldn't have to ask…"_

_-_

"I have something to tell you…"

She tried to catch his eyes, but he would not, could not look her that directly. He sighed a heavy sigh and began.

"Remember when I told you about my mother?" She nodded gravely, "Remember how she died?" Again she nodded, tears at the brim in her eyes.

'Murderer**…**_Please… Don't let it be true…'_

He finally looked up at her, his usually soft and welcoming eyes turned as expressionless as a gray blanket of snow, "I am what I hate most… Raven, I-"

She gasped, clasping her hand over her mouth. How could she have been so stupid? Of course. Of course this was all a trap… Of course he never loved her… but why go so far just to hurt her emotionally? "No… You tricked me… You're Red X, aren't you?" She finally admonished, tears rolling down her frightened expression, running her hands along her chin, she backed away from his outstretched hands, "… Fool…"

She let the small word escape her lips, and his expression became that equivalent to a victim realizing he had been shot. Shot straight through the heart. And then, again, he ran.

o0o

She wrapped her arms around herself as the cold air pinched her skin like fire ants in the summer… So much fire. Why did she feel like she was burning? Why was her heart so cold? What… What did she remember…?

o018220o "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt

He held some strange guns in his arms, firing everywhere he could, trying to reach the Moon, trying to reach the start of it all. He didn't care that the town was dying. He was dying, too.

'My life is brilliant.'

"Zavier! Please, stop this!" Raven writhed in her lover's grip, desperately trying to escape, to get to him, "You can't!"

'My love is pure.'

"Why not?" He turned his head savagely to meet her gaze, but all she saw was pain, not hatred. Pain. Again she tried to push Richard's protective arms away, but he wouldn't let her get hurt, "You chose, haven't you! This is your choice, let me end it here!"

'She was with another man. 

But I won't lose no sleep on that, 

'Cause I've got a plan. '

The town was burning. Fire hungrily reached toward the three up in the rafters of their church, but they were too high. Too high to go any further, too high to get any lower. She started to cry, the frustration she felt finally getting to her. She slipped from Robin's grip and ran to Zavier, holding his equipped arm steadily, "You can't."

She whispered it, not as a demand, as his equal, as someone who wanted the best. His shoulders slumped slightly and his gaze softened, "What if I could kill the Moon?" He had tear streaks in sets on his cheeks, but he ignored them, swallowing hard on his weakness, "I could end this…" He searched her face for an answer, "I'll kill us all," He breathed as Raven took his face in her hands, pressing their foreheads against each other.

'You're beautiful. You're beautiful. 

You're beautiful, it's true. 

I saw your face in a crowded place, 

And I don't know what to do, 

'Cause I'll never be with you.'

"It's not your fault," she murmured lowly. Only she could know his thoughts.

He furrowed his brow, and shook his head, "I do not…" She raised her head to meet his gaze, raising herself on tip-toe, "… Deserve you." He finalized his good-bye in hushed tones as Raven caught his lips in a soft and meaningful kiss.

"You deserve the world…"

'You're beautiful. You're beautiful. 

You're beautiful, it's true. 

There must be an angel with a smile on her face, 

When she thought I should be with you. 

But it's time to face the truth, 

I will never be with you.'

She said it just before he took a step backward, meaning to look her one last time, before his foot missed the edge and he fell, swallowed whole by the flames as he swallowed his heart in his throat.

She screamed his name, immediately ready to stupidly plunge in after him. But Richard was there, he was always there, holding her, protecting her, loving her… Because Zavier couldn't…

'… 'Cause I'll never be with you…'

o0o

She shook completely, not because of how cold the night seemed to be, but by how much suffering Zavier has went through… For her. She let out a cry that shuddered her entire body as she cried for him, opened her heart for him. Her emotions had taken over so much of her, she had no strength to restrain them, thus had no hope of using them. Her soul ached to escape, throwing it's midnight feathers around her, resisting her power and the winds pull.

"WHY!" She screamed, lowering herself onto her knees, feeling the chill of the cement below her. She lowered her head and let her hair fall into her face as the pain of separating from her powers overcame her, "Why?" She whispered between pangs of struggle, "I don't want to choose…"

o0Author's Note0o

It's short, I know… I'm also sorry it took so long! I have no excuse, so sorry!

Anyway, yes. I used the song 'You're Beautiful.' I have another in mind for the end, but you needn't be worried about that. Hope you all liked your little prizes. I'm going to celebrate the upload of my first ten-chaptered story… By buying some more manga and comics… (No different from any other day!)

Later Days!

**Dedication**: For the ones I love! For everyone who read, and more for those who reviewed, but in particular, I'd like to give a shout-out to

RaeRikkuStrong, you review every chapter since I started! Thanks!

Raerob4ever, thanks for everything, even through my enter problems.

SpiderSquirrel, you're an awesome writer and a fellow bookworm, you rock!

SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin you are a great writer and thanks for keeping with my story! And thanks for the congrats!

Sherbet Mayhem for staying up until 4:00 am to read this. Thank you!

Fadextoxblack your preview-review made me blush! Thanks so much. Exclamations for how excited I am!

YOU GUYS ROCK!


	11. Good Bye

Disclaimer: Hey! No, I don't own Teen Titans… I own Zavier (Red X's secret identity) I love Zavier.

Title: For Number One

Chapter: 11: Good Bye

And the Winner is… fadextoxblack! Yay, you 3.

(SBM: Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung and Meant To Live by Switchfoot)

o0Raven0o

Robin came. I couldn't gather enough power to move, but I heard his R Cycle, I heard him scream my name, "Raven!" Always so worried… Why was he always so worried?

A better question- why was it he was always the one who came?

… And didn't I call Cyborg?

He ran towards me, frantically trying to help me, get to me. My wings whipped around, lashing at him, telling him to get away. My eyes became heavy, and I knew this would be the end, my powers would kill me, no one else could… "No!"

Snap. My orbs shown a bright and frightening lilac as I absorbed his chilling shout.

"Raven! Snap out of it! Come here! Come… To me," His voice had been so strong, but why did it grow so weak at the end? Of course I would come. I always came… But right now, I couldn't… Even if I wanted to, I couldn't gain the strength to pull my energy back within myself…

"Rae…" What was he doing? Why now? No… No, stop this. It isn't the right time… Right? "Raven, please, don't think things like that. You worry me, worry me so much sometimes I don't think I can stand it..." Our bond. I looked into his eyes as he fought off my stabbing feathers. My scream of pain, his tear of love, "Raven… I love you."

Stop.

Everything stopped. It seemed like my emotions were frozen in place as I stared dead into his eyes. He edged over to me, never dropping his gaze. He smiled, pulling me to him quickly, thanking the man upstairs I was still conscious. He hugged me closer than he ever had before, and nuzzled his nose to my neck, soaking up my scent like a sponge. My breathing was heavy. He waited there, soothing me, coaxing courage back into me… He had told me, he had actually told me.

"Robin…" My voice was coarse. I had been lying in his arms for a while, and now I raised myself from him, making me miss his warmth, and vice versa, however faint it had become.

This was it. We would live happily ever after. I would tell him I loved him.

"Let's go home," I said it with a hidden, friendly smile… But that was all.

_Had she not heard me? Did she not care? Was this rejection?_

He gave me a dejected look before scooping me up and carrying me bridal-style to his R-Cycle, unaware of the disappointed frown on my face.

I had heard him… Now I had to choose.

o0Raven0o

We got back home and everyone seemed angry with me, I guess I can't blame them. They probably think I betrayed them all, but I apologize and four months later we're all happy again…

I'm sitting next to Robin, his arms around me, and everyone is laughing and drinking, celebrating the fact that Cyborg and Bumblebee are engaged. Engaged, I can't believe it. She just turned twenty! But they look so happy together…

I haven't heard from Zavier since that night. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know where he is. I worry about him all the time, and I'm always asking myself… Did I make the right choice?

Robin and I are practically inseparable, night and day. I'm happy. I've never felt happier in my life, but I'm still worried. I still miss him.

The party drawls on, Starfire is dancing on the table while Aqualad frantically tries to calm her. The woman simply cannot hold her liquor… Beast Boy is playing poker with Speedy and the twins…

"Cyborg and Bumblebee are sneaking off," Robin whispers with a laugh.

"I wonder where they could be going," I roll my eyes, turning my gaze onto him.

He smiles, and looks me in the eyes, I smile back, but only half-heartedly. He frowns, he always knows…

"What's up?" He rubs my arm in a joyous way, trying to cheer me up, "What's on your mind?"

I heave a sigh, but I simply smile, "There's never anything wrong when I'm with you," I say, pushing myself up from the couch a bit to give him a kiss. We kiss for a while, and I realize. I shouldn't think about Zavier anymore. It was all a lie. It wasn't ever real. This is real. I love Robin. I always have.

o0o

It's so hard to stay away from her.

I've been watching your world from afar, 

I've been trying to be where you are, 

And I've been secretly falling apart, 

I'll see. 

Slade has unknowingly instructed that I watch over her, and I stupidly accepted the job. Now I watch as she doesn't spend the nights in her room, but in Robin's. I know I had taken this job to get paid to be closer to her, but now it's just torture. There was never any love or feeling after mom died, never feeling until she slammed into my life, or was it I that crashed her party?

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful, 

You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see, 

You turn every head but you don't see me.

Two more months pass happily without any word from Slade. Robin knows he should be worried, but he is just too happy. He's come to realize that no matter what, they would all be in danger, and it wouldn't be greatened by the world knowing how much he loved her. What was the point of living if not for this reason?

I'll put a spell on you, 

You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you. 

Ignorantly, the titan's lived on, and moved back into the original Titan Tower that Cyborg had spent the past two months remaking, with the titan's help. Things were headed back to normal, normal except for the fact that they had switched Aqualad and Cyborg… It somehow just felt wrong. It felt like they were growing up, like they were moving on…

And when I wake you, 

I'll be the first thing you see, 

And you'll realize that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you…

o0Zavier0o

Raven Roth was a painstakingly beautiful girl, half of her allure being her magnificently mysterious and rebellious aura. Though I did not take part in as much of her life as a certain Boy Blunder, as she referred to him. She has helped me fill my gaps, and now I seek to finally fill hers. This would of course, be the final step, my final gift to her, and though she would kill me if she knew I was doing this, I have to make sure her story is clear before I am forced to say adieu. And to make a final note, she will soon know, I wasn't just looking out For Number One.

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first.

She hates me now… I've failed again, and in my twisted sense of humor, I'm starting to think we are not meant to be together… I love her, though. I've never loved so much, I never thought I could. But I do. I love her enough to keep her happy, I love her enough to do what's right.

Sometimes the first thing you want never comes.

It breaks my heart to do this, but do I have a choice? She's going to turn me in… She's going to fight… Against me. With him. By his side. Once I give them this letter, I'm gone… I'll leave her to be happy, and not feel regret or guilt, I didn't mean to bring that upon her. I love her.

But I know that waiting is all you can do.

I seal my letter tightly, securely the way I had been taught. I had decided to deliver it in person, or at least drop it under his door myself. I take out a folded piece of paper, it was a poem she had written, and thought she had lost. It was a poem I had found while snooping through the ruins of Titan's Tower after Slade's damage. It was a poem about Robin, about the day he helped her save the world. How could she not love him over me, a man she had just met?

Sometimes… 

I had planned to simply slip the note and the poem under Robin's door, but low and behold. Someone had gotten in the way of my plans. Someone I should not have taken lightly.

o0o

Things were back to normal. Completely and utterly back to normal. The feeling of a cast shadow loomed over their heads as they all thought the same thing. Where was Slade? What had happened?

Even though they all knew it was coming, it was still a shock that stayed with them even after they stood face to face against their top enemy.

"Well, my dear friends. Did you miss me?" He asked in his familiarly coaxing manner, narrowing his single visible eye.

"What do you want, Slade?" Robin balled his fists, ready to attack.

"Why, I thought it quite obvious…" His eye shot toward one of the high windows of the warehouse, "It seems that an uninvited guest is trying to ruin our fun," Robin shot an instinctive glance just as Slade lashed out onto none other than Raven.

Crash.

Red X came crashing out of that very window, blocking the fire bolts with an expanding red ball.

"Zavier…" Raven was wide eyed.

Robin whipped around as everyone's eyes turned to the thief.

"Ah, what a nice reunion… I'm sorry I'll have to spoil it." Slade chuckled as his army emerged from the shadows.

"Damn. Titan's go!" Everyone sprawled out, flogging every robot in sight. It was routine and simple, and yet Aqualad looked out for Starfire as Red X trailed behind Raven, Robin glancing worriedly as he fought off Slade.

"Raven, I've missed you," Zavier said quietly, bashing in the head of one of the robots as he ran beside her.

Her jaw tensed and her brows furrowed, but she didn't respond. Was this all part of his plan? What more could he do?

'He broke my heart'

"Raven, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you-"

"Will you just stop it?" She launched herself toward another adversary before turning her head fiercely to meet his gaze, "What more can you do? How else could you hurt me?"

"Raven, I'm sorry."

"Liar!" She shouted, Using a full blown energy to blast out a ring of robots. She was too caught up in her emotions to notice how no one was attacking either of them, "… You tricked me."

"No. It's true in the beginning, I was in alliance with Slade, but you were never part of our plan!"

"Don't be so sure of that," Slade snickered as everyone started again. "You may not know it, but Raven is still in love with Zavier."

Fumbling his confidence

Robin's lip curled as he shouted frustration, pushing Slade away and dashing toward Red X with newfound aggression.

"Robin!" Starfire screamed his name, running with Raven to separate the two. It was useless, they thrashed around. Robin striking and Red X dodging. It was pointless.

And wondering why the world has passed him by 

"Stop!" Raven uttered, standing to their left. "Stop…"

Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments

And they did. Zavier stood back as Robin walked toward Raven.

But then Slade surprised them again, he swooped over them, grabbing both masked men, knocking them out in unison, throwing them on opposite sides of the roof.

"Now I finally get the two apprentices I've desired from the start. You four, I won't need."

"Titans, go!" Raven commanded, both girls bolting at him.

Starfire was thrown off by his flames, falling rapidly unconscious and luckily saved my Aqualad. This was not going well.

Beast Boy morphed into a pterodactyl, clawing as best he could. Raven lashed at him, too angry to even use her powers.

Bam. She's down.

'_He's too strong… We're going to lose…'_

And failed attempts to fly, fly

Raven looked as Beast Boy fought tooth and nail to defeat him, to protect them. She looked at Aqualad trying to heal Starfire. She looked at the two men she loved more than herself.

'_No…'_

Slowly, she got up, flying to Robin, lying directly above her. She healed him as quickly as possible, feeling her strength revive him and leave her.

Slade had quietly taken down Beast Boy, and no one noticed. Slade turned and looked at Raven, her glowing hands on Robin's chest. He raised a hand as Red X slammed into his side, knocking them both almost completely off the roof. Both gripped onto the ledge as Raven ran toward Zavier.

"Z. Grab my hand." She knew she was losing power, she had to be wise in choosing what to do with it.

Slade again aimed his arm toward Raven, who had successfully gotten Zavier fully onto the roof. This time, Robin came to help her, he threw his bird-a-rang, catching Slade off guard. Again, they were in combat.

"Raven…"

"Shh," She quieted him, feeling his weakness and using the rest of her power to heal him as well. She knew they would protect her. She knew she didn't need it now.

Zavier smiled, taking off after the battle now taking place on the ground. Both tackled Slade, the two rivals joining forces and actually thinking they had finally gotten him.

We were meant to live for so much more…

"ZAVIER!" She screamed, running toward his flaming body, trying to put out the flames with her cape. Slade laughed, angering Robin into an even deeper frenzy. Even if he knew Zavier loved her, he couldn't see her this hurt. It wasn't right.

Have we lost ourselves? 

Somewhere we live inside 

Somewhere we live inside 

"Now, now. I'm helping you win," Slade chortled in his taunting voice.

We were meant to live for so much more 

Have we lost ourselves? 

Somewhere we live inside 

"Zavier," she cradled his head in her lap, summoning her powers, knowing they would not come, "No…" She cried. Her eyes scanned his burned body, every inch was scarred. It was like leather, rough but fragile. He wouldn't make it. She knew, so she cried.

"Raven… I'm sorry."

"No." She shook her head violently, "… I love you."

And she kissed him, kissed him as he died in her arms. He ran a burned hand over her cheek, remembering every moment. She let out cried of pain between breaths, but wouldn't let go. She couldn't. She kissed him until he couldn't kiss her back.

We were meant to live.

And then she screamed, fueling Robin to finally Slade him so hard, he did not retaliate. And then he finished the job.

Slade was dead. Zavier was dead.

The war was over.

o0Robin0o

Everyone went home quietly. Starfire and Beast Boy were rushed into the medical lab. As soon as we got home, Raven locked herself into her room, saying she needed to regain her strength and meditate. But I knew. I'd sit outside her bedroom at night and hear her cry. They were always muffled and hidden. When I'd knock on her door to offer her breakfast, lunch, dinner… She always gave a choked "no thank you." It tore my heart.

Dreaming about Providence

I was losing her. The team was losing her. She had gone into a withdrawal and after a full week of the team not seeing her, I opened her door by force. She was there, sitting on her bed, a leather book in her hand.

And whether mice or men have second tries 

"Do you know what this is?" she asked me quietly, weighing the book in her hands.

"No…" I responded just as softly, sitting down next to her.

"Zavier gave it to me. I think it's a book about us."

Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open

I furrowed my brow and she closed her eyes.

"It's a story about a girl who is in love with a man she'd known since childhood, only realizing her feelings when another man came, who she had befriended immediately. The two men fought constantly when together, and so she felt torn… She felt like either way, she couldn't please them, because… She loved them both so much," Raven sniffled, running her thumb across the binding.

"How… How does it end?" I respond hesitantly. I feel like this is it. This will tell me whether or not she loves me, whether we can be together.

"I don't know yet… The book won't show it to me."

Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

"Oh… Raven-"

"You know I love you, right?" I look at her in shock. Why am I shocked?

Her hair falls around her face, framing her eyes set in a cute swirl of determination and true honesty.

I smile, "Yeah. I love you, too."

I kiss her lightly, and then she cries in my arms.

o0o

Everyone is happy to see her again, everyone sees her laughing and smiling and living life like someone who loves being in it.

But inside she's sad. So sad. And she doesn't get it.

Until finally, Zavier's book has let her read the ending.

Everyone sees her walk to the highest point above the ocean, getting ready to meditate. Robin watches her through the window as she stands at the edge, looking down onto the white wash and spray of seawater as it splashes against the rocks. He watches her, secretly imagining her after their married, what their child would be like. He already has names all picked out. They're perfect.

We want more than this world's got to offer 

We want more than the wars of our fathers 

And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

And then she spreads her arms wide, wide like an angel spreads her glorious wings… And she jumps.

"RAVEN!" It's too late. By the time they reach the edge, they see her resting body over the rocks. She looks peaceful.

'No! This isn't right…' 

o0o

"… _A book?"_ _"It's my favorite. It will help. Trust me,"_

Robin walks into her old room, lying on her bed and crying on her pillow.

'I love him. But I don't want to anymore. I want it all to stop.'

Why did she do it? The were so happy…

"_You know I love you, right?"_

We were meant to live for so much more 

Have we lost ourselves? 

Somewhere we live inside 

Somewhere we live inside 

His hand touched leather, and he saw the book…

_I cannot understand. Why did he have to die? Why him? I can't stand it. I look at Richard and I know he feels my loss, but at the same time, he is happy. He is happy because of me. I hide my pain and he thinks everything is fine. I am dying inside. There is no other way to put it. I am deceiving Richard, I am lying to him, and I can't take it anymore. I miss him so much…_

_I had a dream that our souls found each other, and that we would fly like angels and soar with the moon on our wings, keeping the Goddess of the Moon close and safe. For she kept us together._

_I just wish to get this life over with and start over again in the next._

We were meant to live… 

We were meant to live…

o0Author's Note0o

THE END

Sorry this took so long, but the ending was just so hard. I had many different ideas and I had written them all out before choosing this one, so I hope you liked it. And if you want the other ending I had written, ask me for it. Maybe if enough people like the other ending, I'll replace it. But I am really proud of this one. Anyway, I'm just so happy because I had wanted to finish this and get it out before my birthday (June 1st), and I can't believe I've done it!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! I LOVE YOU GUYS!


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